


Coming Back to You

by juli_with_a_chance



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-01-10 01:26:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12288312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juli_with_a_chance/pseuds/juli_with_a_chance





	1. Chapter 1

-Carmilla POV-

The air was cool and crisp as I walked through the park, autumn was fast approaching and there was something refreshing about seeing people in thick wool sweaters and scarves around their necks, rather than shorts and t-shirts. “Mama, where is Clark?”

“We have to get him from school, Kiddo. That’s where we’re going.” I say, looking down at the little boy.

“Then where are we going?” Micah asks.

“Mommy’s house.” I say, picking up the little boy.

“Okay. When do I go to school?”

“You go to pre-k next week, that’s when you start.” 

“Auntie Perry says she’s going to be my teacher. I like Auntie Perry.”

“I know you do bud.” I say, picking him up as we come to the crosswalk. “You’re getting too big for me.”

“I’m a big boy. I’m growing super fast.” He laughs, kissing my cheek.

“You’re Mama’s big boy.” I smile; putting him down once we crossed the street.

“Hi Laf!” Micah shouts as he runs over towards them.

“Hey, Kid. How are you?” 

“Good, are you waiting for Bryce and Sarah?”

“Of course I am. They are my gremlins. Are you coming to get Clark?”

“Yep, me and Mama came here to get him. I start pre-k next week! Mama said!”

“Is Auntie Perry your teacher?”

“Yeah, I’m excited.”

“I bet. Hey.” Laf says as I walk over to them.

“Hey. How are you?”

“I’m doing good, you?”

“As good as I can be. How’s Laura?”

“She’s keeping busy. She works all day and tries to be home for the boys before dinner.” Laf says, as she puts Micah down.

“Is she still…?”

“Yeah, Danny is there for the kids when they get home from school, except for days like this when you get them.”

“Yeah, then Laura comes to the door and Danny is no where to be seen.” I say, trying not to roll my eyes.

“You remember how this happened, you didn’t have to do it.”

“What was I supposed to do? Be a stay-at-home Mom? I had to work too. I couldn’t think of leaving Micah with anyone else, or a daycare.”

“So you’d rather co-parent?”

“It’s better than waiting to know when she would be home, especially when she did the eleven o’clock shift. I couldn’t deal with it, I mean it’s no different now, but at least I’m in my own place and not sharing space with her.”

“Whatever logic to help you feel better about the situation…”

“I still get to have the boys to myself, and don’t have to worry about when she’s going to be home. I’m content. And the boys are okay.”

“I like going to Mama’s house, I get to see Ell. She’s really nice.” Micah smiles as he reaches for my hand. 

“So you’re with Ell still?

“She was partly the reason we divorced.” I shrug.

“I forget that the affair was involved.”

“Please, Danny was moving in before the ink dried on the paperwork.”

“So there’s no love loss?”

“There’s a lot of love loss.” I say quietly, running my hands through Micah’s curly brown hair. “We were together for ten years. I have two beautiful boys with her…”

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I know, there’s just always going to be something about the situation that will never not upset me in some way.” I whisper, looking down at Micah. “Especially when I see this little guy.” 

“I look like, Mommy.” Micah smiles, his honey colored eyes shining.

“You look a lot like, Mommy.” I chime, leaning down and kissing his forehead.

“Hi Mama! Hi Laf!” Clark says as he runs towards us. 

“Hi, Sweetheart.” I say, wrapping him in a tight hug. “How was school?”

“Really good. Do we get to come back to you’re apartment or Mommy’s?”

“You’re with Mommy tonight, Kid.”

“Okay.” He chimes, taking my other hand.

“It was nice seeing you, Laf.”

“Nice to see you too, Carmilla. I’ll see you gremlins later.”

“Okay!” The boys say in unison as we walk towards the apartment. Clark goes on about his day at school while we walk towards Laura’s brownstone she has on the East Side. The boys let go of me as the run towards the door, letting themselves in, I sigh, following the boys up the steps and into the house. I see Danny standing in the hallway, giving Micah a hug.

“Hi.” She says, a cold undertone evident in her voice.

“Hey, is Laura here?”

“She’s in the kitchen why?”

“I need to speak to her.” I say, pushing past Danny and into the kitchen. “Hey.”

“Hey, how are you?” Laura asks as she continues to prepare dinner.

“Doing well, you?”

“Hanging in there. How are the boys?”

“Good, Micah is excited about pre-k and Clark said he had a good day at school, but I’m pretty sure he’ll let you in on that. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“What is that?”

“My mom wants to see the boys for the weekend, she just wanted me to run it by you…”

“Your mother knows she can call me and ask me.”

“She knows that, but she called to talk to Micah earlier and when she was on with me she knew it would be easier to as me I guess.” I shrug.

“She can have the boys for the weekend.” Laura nods, looking at me with a small smile. “I wanted to talk to you about something too.”

“Okay.” I say, crossing my arms over my chest. I watch as Laura walks towards the entryway on the kitchen, once she sees Danny isn’t in the hallway she walks over to me, sitting on the bar stool in front of me. “Danny asked me to marry her.”

“Okay.” I say, trying to maintain calm while I feel my heart rate pick up. “Did you respond?”

“I didn’t give her an answer.” Laura says, looking down at the floor.

“You’re allowed to do what you want, Laura. We’re co-parenting. The only thing we have a joint say or opinion with is the kids.”

“I know, but I still would like your input.”

“Don’t do it.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. Why should you feel the need to marry her, we’ve only been separated for a year, isn’t it too soon?” 

“Says you. You and Ell were moving in together the day we signed the papers.”

“Yeah, but I don’t plan on marrying her. She’s a companion.”

“She’s a kid!”

“She’s only ten years younger that me!” 

“But still, you met her on campus.”

“She cared for me in that moment more than you were.”

“I wanted a career, Carmilla!”

“But you didn’t have to marry your career while you were married to me!”

“We always end up here.” Laura says, running her hands over her face.

“I wonder why we live on opposite sides on the park.” I say sarcastically.

“Fuck you.” Laura snaps under her breath. “You’re a jerk.”

“That’s old news. My mom will call you when she’s getting the boys.”

“Okay.” Laura nods as I walk out of the kitchen.

“Bye boys!” I call up the stairs.

“Bye Mama!” I hear Clark and Micah call out before hearing the patter of feet, I smile as I see them coming down the stairs to give me a hug. 

“Nana will be calling Mommy this weekend to come and get you guys.”

“I love Nana’s!” Micah says, clapping his hands.

“I know you do, Bud.” I smile, kissing the top of his head. “I’ll see you boys this weekend.”

“Are you going to Nana’s too?” Clark asks.

“Yeah, it’s Auntie Mattie’s birthday, we’re going to have a party for her.”

“Okay.” The boys say in unison.

“Okay, I have to go. I love you both so much.” I say, giving them each on last hug and kiss before leaving. 

* * *

I walk into my apartment and I’m greeted with the faint smell of something cooking, I walk towards the kitchen to see Ell standing in front of a pot on the stove. I walk up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist. “Hey.” I whisper, kissing the side of her neck.

“Hey, how are you?” She chimes, turning in my arms to face me.

“Tired.” I say, leaning in to kiss her. “How was your day?”

“Loaded down with classwork and I have a few papers to revise. Nothing too stressful though.”

“Good, so you’re going to come with me to Mattie’s party this weekend?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Just wondering, the boys are going to be at my mom’s for the weekend, so we don’t have to worry about picking them up or anything like that.”

“That’s good.”

“So, Laura told me something today, and I don’t know how to take it.” I say, letting go of Ell and walking over to get a drink from the fridge.

“What is that?”

“Danny proposed…” 

“And?”

“She said she didn’t give, Danny, an answer just yet. Something about wanting to talk to me about it first.”

“So what did you say?”

“Basically? That I didn’t really care, one way or another, I can’t care.”

“But at the same time, it’s bothering you. Isn’t it?”

“Of course it is.” I say, sitting down at the table. “She was my first wife, she is the mother of my sons… I can’t let it not bother me. Especially the way she treats, Clark.”

“How does she treat him?”

“Like crap, and I guarantee it’s because he looks the most like me.”

“I wouldn’t put that idea past her.” Ell says, walking up behind me and rubbing my shoulders. “Would you be upset if she did marry, Danny?”

“I really don’t know how I’d feel. Honestly it’s her choice and life at this point, I don’t think it matters what I think seeing as she’ll do whatever she wants to anyway.”

“You’re right.”

“Just let it ride out and see what happens.”

“I will.” I say, looking up at Ell to see her smiling at me, she leans down and kisses me softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She smiles against my lips as she kisses me again. 

* * *

I blindly reach for my phone as I hear it ringing close by, waking me up. “Hello?” I say, not bothering to look at the ID. I feel Ell wrap her arms around my waist as she adjusts in her sleep.

“Carmilla?” Laura asks on the other line.

“Yeah, what do you want, Laura? It’s like two in the morning.”

“How fast can you get to the hospital?” She asks, her voice shaky. I sit up straight, jolting Ell awake.

“I’ll be there soon. Which one?”

“You know which.” Laura sighs.


	2. Chapter 2

-Laura POV-

“I don’t want you! I want my mama!” I hear Clark shout as I walk back into the room after calling Carmilla.

“Mama’s coming.” I say, walking into the room and sitting on the foot of the bed. “I would like for you to not yell at Danny like that.”

“I don’t care, she’s not my mama!” He shouts as the nurse walks in. “Ashley!” He says with a smile.

“It’s bittersweet to see you again, Kiddo.” The young nurse says, walking over with a needle in her hand. “IV time.” She says, holding up a bag of saline.

“Can we wait for Mama to get here?”

“Yeah, we can wait, but we have to do it soon.” Ashley says.

“Okay." Clark chimes as Ashley walks out of the room. "Mama!” Clark shouts, jumping out of bed and running over to her, she picks him up and holds him close to her. “I’m sick again.” He says, trying not to cry.

“I know, Bud.” She says, brushing his dark hair from his face and kissing the side of his head. “You’re going to get better again, you know that.”

“I know I’m, Superman.”

“You do have the same secret identity name.”

“Shh, Mama, don’t tell anyone.”

“I’m sorry.” She says, placing along with him as she walks him towards the bed, placing him down and kissing his forehead. “Who’s your nurse?”

“Ashley!” The eight-year-old announces. “She’s still very pretty.” He adds.

“Did she come in yet?”

“She was going to do the IV but I wanted to wait for you.”

“Well, since I’m here, we better get it done.” Carmilla says, walking out of the room and coming back with Ashley.

“Ready, little man?”

“Yes, Mama’s here!” He says with a smile. “Mommy, you better come here, too.”

“I’m coming.” I say, walking over and standing beside him while Carmilla set on the bed. Once the IV was in, Clark decided he wanted to go to sleep, we shut off the light and closed the curtain around his bed before Carmilla and I stepped out of the room, Danny staying back to keep, Clark company.

“So how did this come about?” Carmilla asks as we walk into a waiting area.

“He was running a high fever and couldn’t sleep, I took him to the hospital and after some tests, they transferred us here to Sloan.” I explain, watching as Carmilla sat down. “They checked his markers right away and his blood, seeing as his file briefed the history of cancer. They said it came up in his tests, and his white cells were low.”

“Did they do a scan?”

“As soon as we came in, we’re waiting for those results.” 

“How long were you hear before you called me?”

“Not too long, maybe an hour. I wanted him in a room before I called you.”

“Okay.”

“We’ve been through this before, everything will be okay.”

“The last time we went through this, you just got pregnant with Micah and everything was fine.”

“I know.” I sigh, sitting down beside her. “We have to set things aside and focus on being there for our son.”

“I know. Believe me, I know.” She says, looking at me with tears in her eyes. “Do you miss me?” She whispers.

“Like someone cut a hole in me.” I whisper, reaching to take her hand in mine. “I’m not going to marry her.”

“Why is that?”

“I don’t want to marry her, and Clark doesn’t like her.”

“More like, she doesn’t like Clark.”

“I know. I don’t want to marry her if she can’t like both of the boys and especially since the boys don’t like her. I think I’m going to tell her to move out.”

“Who’s going to be there for the boys while you’re working?”

“You can get them more often than not, and Laf wouldn’t mind getting Clark from school, and I’m pretty sure Perry wouldn’t mind taking Micah home after preschool. I’ll make it work.” I shrug. “But now that Clark is sick again, I’m going to have to take time off.” 

“Yeah, I’m going to work from home this upcoming semester.”

“What about fall?”

“I’m not working right now, I took a sabbatical.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I don’t need to consult you or anything.”

“I wasn’t saying that.” 

“Mrs. Karnstein?”

“Yes.” Carmilla and I say in unison.

“Who is Clark’s primary caregiver?”

“We’re his mothers, so we both are.” Carmilla snaps.

“Don’t mind her, please. It’s been a long night.” I say to the doctor.

“Okay. So we have the results of your son’s scan. There is a mass on his lymph. It isn’t big, but it’s there, we’re going to do the same treatment as we did last time, but this one is going to be a little bit stronger than when he was four. Expect the same results as then, the loss of appetite and hair may vary this time around, but he’ll have to remain here for a couple of weeks.”

“Okay.” I nod. Looking over at Carmilla. “What are we going to do about schooling?”

“Get him a tutor for his good days, so he doesn’t fall behind.”

“I’ll call the school tomorrow and let them know what’s going on. I have to call my dad.” 

“I have to call Mother and Mattie in the morning. I have to call Ell, let her know what’s going on.”

“She doesn’t need to know our business.”

“Clark just so happens to adore her, and she adores him. I have to let her know what’s going on.” Carmilla says, getting her phone from her pocket.

“But you don’t need to tell her right this minute.”

“I don’t care, I’m letting her know.” She says, bringing the phone to her ear and walking towards the window. I leave the room and go back into Clark’s room to see Danny playing a game on her phone. 

“Hey.” She says, turning off her phone and standing up. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything is okay, just tired.” I say through a yawn. “You don’t have to stay, you can go.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to you in the morning. Do you want me to get Micah?”

“No, leave him at Perry’s. I don’t want him getting upset more so than he may already be.”

“Okay, if you need me, please call me.” 

“I will.” I say, watching as Danny leans down to kiss me on the cheek before leaving.

“I don’t know what you see in someone who is two feet taller than you are.” Carmilla says, walking into the room once Danny left.

“She’s nice and doesn’t mind that I want a family and career at the same time.”

“Wow, pull the big guns out why don’t you?”

“Don’t be a jerk.”

“Come on, Cupcake. You fell in love with the fact that I was a jerk.” She chimes, giving me a smile.

“You were a jerk to everyone but me.” I say, looking over at Clark. “He looks more and more like you everyday.”

“And yet, he acts like you.”

“Micah on the other hand looks like me and acts like you.” I chime, looking over to see Carmilla with a proud smile.

“That’s my boy.”

“Do you think we would have had another baby if we stayed together?”

“I don’t know.” Carmilla shrugs. “After the trouble I had with Clark, I wouldn’t want to risk it.”

“Yeah.”

“I just want to worry about Clark. I don’t want to think about what if’s, and would-we-have’s.”

“You’re right.” I say, shaking my head a bit. “There are bigger issues at hand.” 

* * *

_I was through the door to see Carmilla lying on the couch, a book resting on her baby bump as she slept. I smile, leaning over the back of the couch and kissing her forehead._

_“Hey, Cupcake.” She says, her voice thick with sleep. “How was work?”_

_“Good. I missed you though. How are you feeling?”_

_“Tired, as always. This little guy is beating up my insides though. I think we nap at the same time.” Carmilla says, closing the book and patting her belly. “I just want him to come out already.”_

_“I know, I could imagine.” I say, walking over and sitting next to her, putting my hands on her belly. “I can’t wait to meet him, little Clark Sherman Karnstein.”_

_“I really wanted to name him Clark Kent Karnstein.” Carmilla says, looking at me with a lazy smile._

_“You know my dad wants his first grandson to have his name.”_

_“Sherman is ruining everything.”_

_“Oh shut up.” I say, hitting her playfully. Carmilla pulls me towards her, as best as she could. “There’s a planet between us.” I tease._

_“Tell me about it.” Carmilla sighs, giving me a kiss. “I don’t want to be pregnant again. The next time we talk about having a kid, it’s going to be yours.”_

_“Okay.” I nod, kissing her softly._

-Carmilla POV-

“Mama?” I hear Clark say, jolting me awake.

“What’s up, Kiddo?” I say, rubbing my eyes.

“I’m thirsty.”

“What do you want?”

“Can I have apple juice?” 

“I’ll see what I can do.” I say, kissing the side of his head and walking out to the nurse’s station. “Excuse me?”

“Yes, Mrs. Karnstein?” One of the young women asks with a smile.

“Please, Emily, call me Carmilla.” I chime. “Can Clark get some apple juice, please?”

“No problem.” Emily says, going into the back and getting some apple juice. “I’ll let him have two. Don’t forget to get him something to eat before he starts getting his chemo treatments.”

“I think Laura is on that, I’ll ask her when she gets back.”

“Okay. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Of course.” I chime, going back to Clark. “Here you go, kiddo.”

“Thanks Mama.” He smiles, taking the juice from me. “Am I going to miss Auntie Mattie’s birthday?”

“I think so, Kid. I’m sorry.” 

“Can I call Auntie Mattie later?”

“Of course you can. I have to call Nana too and tell her that you’re here.” 

“Okay, where’s Mommy?”

“She had to go take care of Micah.”

“Did you tell Micah?”

“I didn’t, I don’t know if Mommy did.”

“Can I tell him?”

“Is that what you want?”

“Yeah, I want him to know that I’ll be okay. I don’t want someone else telling him.”

“You’re so much like, Mommy.” I smile, running my fingers through his hair. “I’ll call Mommy and tell her.”

“Okay.” He smiles, drinking his juice. “Can I watch TV?”

“Sure, Bud. I’m going to call Mommy.”

“Okay.” He says, turning on the TV as I walk out of the room.

“ _I’m on my way up. Micah insisted on coming._ ” Laura says as soon as she answers the phone.

“Did you tell Micah?”

“ _No, why?_ ”

“Clark wants to tell him.”

“ _Okay._ ” She says with a sigh.

“Clark said it, he wanted to make sure Micah wasn’t told anything because he wants to tell his brother.”

“ _We’ll talk about this when we get there._ ”

“Alright.”

“ _Does he want anything? I’m brining him some clothes and stuff like that, but does he want a treat?_ ”

“Let me ask.” I say, walking back into the room. “Clark, Mommy wants to know if you want anything.” 

“M&Ms.” The little boy says.

“He wants M&Ms.”

“ _Okay, I’ll be there in a little bit._ ” Laura says, hanging up the phone.

“Mommy and Micah will be here soon.”

“Okay.” 

* * *

I walk through the apartment door, looking up to see Ell rushing towards me, wrapping me in a hug. “Are you okay?” She whispers in my ear, kissing the side of my head. 

“As okay as I can be.” I say, pulling back to look at her. “He told Micah what was going on, and Micah got upset.”

“Awe, poor little guy. Is he going to stay here tonight?”

“No, LaFontaine is going to take him overnight.” I explain, walking over to sit on the couch.

“Oh, I would have liked to see the little guy.” Ell says, sitting beside me.

“I know.”

“Do you want me to leave you be?”

“No, no I don’t want you to leave me alone. It’s just so much to still wrap my head around.” I say, waking her hand in mine and lacing our fingers together. “I need a distraction until I get a phone call.” I say, looking down at out hands before looking up at Ell, she smiles sadly as she leans in and kisses me.

“Everything will be okay, he’s strong. If he’s anything like you, he’ll get through this before you know it.”

“We just didn’t think it would come back, we’re surprised it did.”

“I could imagine.”

“I’m tired, I’m going to shower and lie down.”

“Okay.” Ell says, kissing me before I get up. “I love you, Carmilla.”

“I know.”


	3. Chapter 3

-Carmilla POV-

I walk into the room to see Clark wasn’t in the room and Laura was sitting in the corner typing away at her laptop. “Hey.” I say, walking over and handing her a cup and a bag. “Mocha, and a chocolate chip cookie.”

“Thank you.” She smiles, taking the items from my hand.

“Where’s Clark?”

“They had to go scan him, he wanted to be a big boy and go by himself. He should be back soon though.”

“Okay, I brought him a cocoa.” I say, putting the cup on his table. “Is everything else okay?”

“Yeah. As okay as things can be.” She says, taking a bite from the cookie. “Thank you again.”

“No problem, Laura. You know that.”

“Yeah.” She says, playing with the lid of her cup. “D-Danny never brought me cookies and cocoa.”

“Really, those are a staple to the Laura Hollis diet plan.”

“She is a health nut, she doesn’t think we should have sugar.”

“Well, that’s no way to live, and we both know that.”

“Tell me about it. Clark and Micah would always talk about you getting them sweets, and if I’m being honest, I would get jealous of them.”

“Well, expect cocoa, mochas, cookies and the occasional grape soda.”

“Thank you.” She says with a shy smile.

“Anything to keep the experience a little up beat in some way.” I shrug, sitting in the chair beside her. “What are you up to?” I ask, gesturing to the laptop.

“Planning Micah’s birthday.”

“It isn’t until November.”

“He wants to have a special birthday, so I figured I’d start planning now.”

“In September?”

“It’s helping keep my mind off other things.”

“Okay, what ever helps, Cupcake.” I say, not realizing the nickname until it was too late, I look over to see a dopey smile on her face. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I haven’t heard that in a long time, I was refreshing.”

“Hi Mama!” Clark says with a smile as they bring him back into the room.

“Hey, Kiddo.” I say, getting up and walking over to give him a hug. “I brought you a treat.”

“What is it?”

“Cocoa.” I say with a smile as his face lights up.

“Thanks Mama!”

“You’re welcome, Sweetheart.”

“Are you going to stay here with me and Mommy?”

“For a little while, I’m going to get Micah from school in little bit.”

“Okay.” He says, taking a sip of his cocoa.

“There’s my beautiful grandbaby!” My mother announces, walking into the room with a bag. “How are you feeling, Sweetie?”

“I’m okay, Nana! I went into the room with the scanner machine all by myself because I’m a big boy!” Clark announces.

“Well, that’s wonderful.” She says, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Hello girls how are you?”

“We’re putting up with each other.” Laura says with a laugh, getting up and walking over to give my mom a hug. “How are you, Lilita?”

“Aside from worrying about this little guy, I’m doing very well. How are you, things at work going well?” 

“Yes, and they were very nice about me having to take a leave to take care of Clark.”

“Wonderful. How about you, Carmilla?”

“Everything is going well, Mother. Aside from this little bump, everything is well.”

“And the two of you?”

“Like Laura said, we’re putting up with each other for the sake of Clark.” I say quietly.

“Nana, did you bring me anything?”

“Of course I did, but of course you can’t really play with everything until you get home.” Lilita says, placing the shopping bag on the bed. She begins going through the things she brought Clark while I excuse myself for a moment, Laura following close behind me. I pull out my phone and go into the waiting area to call, Ell.

“Carm?” Laura says, walking over and crossing her arms over her chest.

“Yeah?” I say, looking down at my phone.

“I want to talk to you one day, over coffee or dinner maybe?”

“Whatever you want to discuss can be discussed now.” 

“It really can’t though…”

“I-if this is about you wanting to get back together…” 

“That’s been the topic since you left.”

“I don’t know if it’s a good time to be discussing this, first of all. Second of all, I don’t know if I want to get back together with you just yet.”

“I miss us.” She says, walking closer to me.

“I miss us too, but we can’t be an us right now. Clark has been here for three weeks already, and I know we’ve seen each other every single say for the past three weeks, but the truth is still that we go home to different women every night. You go home to Danny and I go home to Ell. If we aren’t rotating nights we stay here.”

“You’re right.” Laura sighs. “I told Danny to move out, well, she never really moved in to begin with, but I don’t her she couldn’t come around anymore, and that I didn’t want to marry her. I don’t know if I told you that. I denied her proposal, I can’t marry her, nor do I really want to.”

“But that still doesn’t change the fact that now isn’t a good time to discuss getting back together.” I say, running my hands over my face.

“I’m sorry." 

“We’ll discuss it when it feels right. I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“That’s preaching to the choir, isn’t it?” I snap, making my phone call to Ell. 

* * *

_“Carmilla, no. I told you a thousand times I will not go on a date with you.” Laura whispers as we walk through the library._

_“Just one date, coffee. That’s all. Nothing too serious, just light and casual.”_

_“Can I think about it? Will you give me time to think about it?”_

_“No, can you just give me an answer? You’ve been given more than enough time to think about things…”_

_“Fine, holy Hufflepuff.”_

_“Is that a yes?” I ask, trying hard to contain my smile._

_“Yes, I’ll have coffee with you. You’re so annoying.”_

_“But you said yes, so now I won’t be so annoying. I’ll text you? Or we could just set it up now?”_

_“Tomorrow at ten-thirty. That little place across the street from campus.”_

_“Perfect.” I smile, watching as Laura bites her lip to hide her smile as she turns of her heels and walks away._

* * *

“Hi Mama!” Micah says as we meet at his classroom door.

“Hi Sweetie. How was you day?” I ask, picking him up and kissing his cheek.

“Good. I drew a picture of Clark!”

“Awesome.” I smile, looking over to see Perry walking towards us. “Hey.”

“How is he?”

“Hanging in there, his good days outweigh the bad. He should be coming home soon.”

“That’s good news. How are you and Laura?”

“We’re good. I don’t want to talk about it too much.” I say, gesturing to Micah.

“Of course. Well he was so good today, you can let Laura know that.”

“I will, she’ll be happy to know he was behaving.”

“I always behave.” Micah chimes.

“We know you do, Sweetheart. Let’s get going.” I say, kissing his cheek. “See you tomorrow Perry.”

“See you tomorrow. Send Clark my best.”

“Will do.” I chime.

“Are we going to your house or Mommy’s?”

“You can come by me for a little while.”

“Okay, I want to see Ell and tell her what I did at school today.”

“Whatever you want, Kiddo.”

“Can we get cocoa before we go home?”

“Of course we can.”

 

-Laura POV-

“Uncle Will is going to stay with you for a little while, I have to run home quick.” I say to Clark as he ate his dinner.

“Okay, Mommy.” He smiles. “I like when I have man time with Uncle Will. We get to talk about comics and superheroes.”

“Okay Sweetheart. If anything happens call me, William.”

“You know I will, Laura.” Will smiles. “Go home, take a shower, everything will be fine.”

“Okay. My dad should be here in a little bit once he gets here, you’re free to go.”

“Okay.”

“Bye Sweetie. Grandpa will be here tonight, but I’ll be back to say good night.”

“Okay, Mommy. Can you give Mama and Micah a hug from me?”

“Of course.” I say, kissing his forehead. 

* * *

I walk through the door and see that Danny was sitting in the living room with her feet on the coffee table. “Oh, you’re here.”

“I wanted to talk about things.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, I want my key back.” I say, walking over to her and holding out my hand. She looks up at me and sighs, reaching into her pocket and putting the key in my hand.

“What are you going to do?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What are you going to do? You’re going to be by yourself here, what happens when your kid gets better? Who’s going to be around to take care of them?”

“How dare you say that to me! You have no right!”

“I’m a glorified babysitter and we both know that.” She says, standing up and towering over me.

“You still have no right to say that.”

“You’re a shitty parent and a shittier person, that’s why Carmilla left you.”

“You’re just mad because I don’t want to fucking marry you.”

“You still never gave me a reason.”

“I don’t need to give you a fucking reason, I don’t want to marry you. That’s the only reason you need.”

“That’s a shitty reason.”

“Why? You don’t like my eldest son, you barely put up with the other son. You just come here and sit around; you’re no fucking help to me, really. I still manage to come home and cook dinner, like big deal I need you here for when Carmilla brings them from school.”

“Do you have feelings for her?”

“That isn’t any of your business.”

“Yes it is.” She says, crossing her arms over her chest.

“No it isn’t. You can’t just stand there and waste time to prove some twisted point you’re trying to prove. Get out.”

“Not until I get a reason.”

“I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you for you to potentially walk out on me. I don’t want to give myself to you when there is a possibility of something else happening in my life. And for the record, of course I love Carmilla. What happened between us is not your business, and what will happen between us will still, not be your business.” I say as I start feeling tears well up in my eyes. “Get out of my house.” I point at the door.

“Fuck you.” She says, storming past me and slamming the door. In that moment, I couldn’t control myself anymore as I sunk down to the floor and started crying. 

* * *

The knock on the door jolted me, breaking me from working on my laptop, I sigh as I get up from the couch, walking to open the door. “Hey.” I say with a small smile.

“Hey, let me put him up in his bed.” Carmilla says as she walks in with a sleeping Micah on her hip.

“Be careful, I didn’t get around to seeing if it was straightened up.”

“Okay, Cupcake.” She smiles, making her way up the stairs. She comes back a few minutes later and flopped down on the couch beside me.

“Hey.” She says with a small smile.

“Hey.”

“How was Clark?”

“He was alright, happy that my dad was going to be spending the night with him.”

“That’s good, how’s Sherman?”

“He’s good. He was happy to come down and spend time with Clark, despite the circumstances.”

“That’s good. D-do you really want me to stay here tonight?”

“Only if you want to.”

“Whatever this is, whatever it will become, I want it to be taken slowly.” Carmilla explains, lulling her head to the side to look at me.

“So what does that mean?” I ask, turning my head to face her.

“If you want me to stay here, I’m sleeping on the couch.” Carmilla smirks.

“Fair enough.”

“Wait, really?”

“I’m not going to say no to you, but I’ll compromise something.”

“Okay.”

“Micah is going to be happy.” She chimes.

“He will be, not only will he be confused about being home, but seeing you on the couch as well.” I laugh.

“Either way, I’ll be happy to see you…”

“It’s been a long time since you’ve seen me first thing in the morning.”

“That was always my favorite time to see you.”

“Why?”

“You were always the most beautiful in the morning, and I was always the first person to witness that before you would put make up on.”

“Y-yeah.” I whisper. “I’m just going to go to bed, I’ll give you a blanket and a pillow.”

“I’ll get it, you still keep it in the closet under the stairs?” Carmilla asks as she jumps up.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I’ll take care of it, you go to bed.”

“Goodnight Carmilla.”

“Goodnight Laura.” She says with a small smile as I start making my way up to my bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

-Carmilla POV-

I wake up to the feeling of breathing against my face. I open my eyes to see Micah nose to nose with me, and a smile from ear to ear. “You had a sleepover and didn’t tell me?”

“It was unexpected, Kiddo.” I chime, pulling him to sit on me. “Are you always up this early when you’re home with Mommy?” I ask looking over to see it was nearly seven in the morning.

“Mommy is up too, she’s in the shower.”

“Ah. Do you want breakfast?”

“Cereal please.”

“Can you remind me where Mommy keeps it? I don’t really remember.”

“Okay!” He says, climbing off of me. I follow him into the kitchen. “It’s up there.” He says, pointing to the cabinet next to the fridge. 

“Does Mommy still make her coffee the night before?”

“Yeah, she just pushes the button.” He says, climbing onto the stool at the counter. “I like the honey Cheerios.”

“I know you do.” I chime, fixing him a bowl of cereal while I wait for the coffee to be done. I re-familiarize myself with the kitchen, even though it’s only been a year it feels like much longer than that. “Do you get regular milk or almond milk? I know I give you regular milk at my house…”

“That yucky stuff was Danny’s.” Micah says with a scrunched up face.

“I love you for saying that.” I chime. “Do you think I should spill it out?”

“You can spill it out.” Laura chimes, walking into the kitchen, her hair still damp from the shower as she walks over with a smile. “Good morning.”

“Since when did you start wearing glasses?” I ask, getting the almond milk from the fridge and spilling it out.

“A few months ago.”

“Oh.”

“Why?”

“They look nice on you.” I chime, fixing myself a cup of coffee.

“Thank you.” She smiles, fixing herself a cup of coffee in her Tardis mug.

“Mama?”

“Yes, my love?” 

“Are you going to take me to school?”

“I don’t see why not.” I say, looking to see Laura nod.

“Yay!”

“Finish up your cereal, and go get dressed, your clothes are on your bed.”

“Okay, Mommy.” Micah chimes, finishing up his cereal as he tells Laura about school from the day before, seeing as he didn’t get a chance. Once he was done, he excused himself to go upstairs to get dressed; I grab his bowl and start washing it feeling Laura’s eyes on me.

“You’re watching everything I do, aren’t you?” I ask, drying my hands.

“I’ve missed seeing you in this kitchen.” She says, playing with her coffee cup. 

“You say that like you’re embarrassed to admit it.”

“I am, in some ways.”

“Why is that?”

“I feel like I shouldn’t miss you, it’s my fault you left.”

“Do you think I don’t regret making that decision? I was selfish and thought leaving you would be better than sticking it out with you.”

“But if I didn’t work so much and actually spent time home, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” 

“You think we would have not had problems had you been home more?”

“Yeah.”

“But then you wouldn’t have been doing what you love, and you would have gotten frustrated.”

“But we still would have been together, and that’s all that would have mattered to me.” Laura whispers.

“We can’t talk about the past, we’re both willing to work on redoing things… and that’s all that matters.” I say, resting my hand over hers and giving it a squeeze.

“Slowly.”

“Yes, we’re going to go slowly.” I laugh, walking around the counter and crouching down in front of her. “I want this to work. I miss you so much, I don’t want to uphold this choice any longer.”

“I don’t either.” She says, pushing her glasses to the top of her head. “We’ll discuss it more later?”

“Okay.” I nod, standing up and boldly kissing the top of her head. “I gotta get the gremlin off to school and run back over to my apartment. I’ll see you up at the hospital?”

“Yeah, he should be able to come home today, he’ll get outpatient chemo.”

“Good.”

“Yeah, they caught it early enough where it just shrunk the starting of the tumor. I don’t know what they said to the fullest extent, but I know that I’m happy he’s coming home.”

“Are we getting him a tutor?”

“Yeah, but his school said a lot of what he needs to do is on an online program, it’s some kind of testing or something. I don’t know. Laf offered to help if he needs it.”

“Okay.”

* * *

_I feel Laura wrap her arms around my waist from behind as I stand in front of the stove, cooking us breakfast. “Good morning.” She whispers in my ear, kissing the back of my neck._

_“Good morning, Cupcake.”_

_“What are you making?” She asks, peaking over my shoulder._

_“Pancakes. Seeing as they are your favorite.” I chime, turning my head to kiss her._

_“You’re so nice to me.”_

_“Yeah, well.” I tease, kissing her again. “It should be ready soon, there’s coffee in the pot.”_

_“Thank you.” She chimes, kissing my cheek. I finish up making the pancakes, brining them to the counter where Laura was sat waiting patiently._

_“You’re like a child when it comes to pancakes.”_

_“Just wait until we have them.” She says, looking up at me shyly. “I mean, if you want them. I know we haven’t talked about it, but I thought moving to a bigger place meant you may want to have kids because we need the room. I shouldn’t have assumed anything. I’m sorry.” She rambles, looking down at her plate._

_“Don’t be.” I laugh, placing my hand over hers. “I want them.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Not a small army of them like Angelina Jolie, but one or two would be nice.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yes, really. I want to be a mom with you. I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t.”_

_“I love you.”_

_“I love you too.” I smile, leaning over to kiss her._  

* * *

“Are you going to stay here, Mama?” Clark asks from his bed. He was able to come home, which he was very happy about.

“Mommy and I are going to talk to see what’s going to happen, but I will be here tonight. So if you need anything, you can call for Mommy, or myself.” I say, kissing his forehead.

“Okay, Mama.” He smiles, curling into his side.

“Goodnight.”

“Night.” He yawns. I walk out of the room and across the hall to Micah’s room to see he was already fast asleep. I walk in and pull his cover up a bit more, and kiss his forehead.

“Come here.” Laura says as I walk out of Micah’s room and follow her into the bedroom. I watch as she sits on the bed, patting the spot beside her.

“I’m not sitting there.”

“Why?”

“Has Danny slept in that bed?”

“Honestly?”

“Yes, I want the honest answer.”

“No. In the past year, maybe a handful of times.”

“Can I disinfect that side before I get on there, or seeing as it’s really your side can you move over?” I ask, watching Laura roll her eyes as she moves over. 

“You’re such a pain in the ass.

“Yeah well, I don’t want to catch anything she’s had.”

“If we are serious about getting back together again, we’ll get a new bed.”

“I want a temperpedic.” I say, lying down and resting my head on Laura’s yellow pillow.

“You’re such a baby.” She teases, lying down and facing me. We stare at each other, falling into a comfortable silence as I notice the subtle changes to her features that took place over a year. Her skin still free of wrinkles or anything like that, although the dark circles under her eyes aren’t well hidden by the makeup she is wearing, giving way to the tiredness she may be feeling constantly.

“What?” She asks with a shy smile.

“Just relearning you.” I say. “That sounded odd.” I laugh feeling embarrassed by what I said.

“It did, but I feel the same way.” She smiles. “So...”

“So...”

“I think we should do counseling.”

“Okay.”

“Will you take it seriously and go?”

“Of course, I have no reason not to...”

“So then I’ll set something up. Are you going to stay here?” She asks, running her fingers through my hair and brushing it aside.

“I think I have to talk to Ell, seeing as she’s only been briefed and I haven’t really discussed our situation just yet.”

“Okay. Like we said, slow.”

“Exactly.” I whisper. Getting lost in just staring at her. Something that was always easy got me to do, it wouldn’t take a lot for me to get lost in looking at Laura, getting caught up in the thoughts of what she could be thinking, what could be going on in her head as she looked at me. Maybe she thought the same as I. Maybe she thought differently than I did all together. Maybe she thought about leaving me all those years when our marriage began to fall apart. Maybe she was upset that I jumped at divorce first because it was also on her mind... Things I could only think of, never having the courage to ask for my own benefit.

“What are you thinking?”

“Different things.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Did divorce ever cross your mind?”

“Just jumping to the point, I see.” Laura chuckles. “It crossed my mine once or twice, but I thought we were able to get through things and didn’t act on it until you did.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to apologize anymore. There’s no reason for it. It happened and there isn’t any more to say about it.” She says, caressing my cheek. “We’re moving forward.”

“Of course.” I say, staring at her for a moment before I hear my phone start to ring. I reach into my back pocket. “It’s Ell.”

“You take the call.”

“I’m going to go downstairs.”

“Okay.” She nods, giving me a tightlipped smile. I roll out of bed and begin walking down stairs.

“Hey.” I say, taking the call.

_“Are you at Laura’s?”_

“Yeah, I think I’ll be here again tonight.”

_“Okay. How’s Clark?”_

“Happy to be home.” I say with a sigh. “We need to talk.”

_“You’re going to get back together with Laura aren’t you?”_

“It’s in discussion.”

_“When you have it all set in stone you’ll let me know?”_

“Of course. I’m surprised you’re so understanding.”

_“You and her have more of a history than you and I do, I mean let’s face it the age difference doesn’t help and I’m too young to want to be tied down.”_

“True. Thank you.”

_“You’re welcome. I don’t know if Laura will be happy about it, but I would like to be friends still.”_

“I’ll discuss it with her when the time is right.”

_“Okay. I guess you’ll still be between places?”_

“For a little bit, you’ll still have a chance to see the boys.”

_“Okay, we’ll figure it all out. I’ll talk to you later.”_

“Talk to you later.” I chime as she hangs up the phone. I turn around to see Micah standing in the kitchen with his giraffe under his arm. “Hey, Kid.”

“I’m thirsty, Mama.”

“I’ll get you a drink.” I say as I get a sippy cup and putting some apple juice in it before handing him the cup and picking him up and bringing him back to bed. I lay him in his bed, kissing his forehead and taking the cup from him, placing it on the bedside table. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You’re sleeping over again?” He asks with a lazy smile.

“I’m pretty sure.” I say, brushing the hair from his face. “I love you, Sweetie.”

“I love you too, Mama.” He says, drifting back off to sleep. I walk back into the bedroom to see that Laura changed into her pajamas.

“What happened on the phone?”

“Nothing major. She was just asking if I was staying here tonight.”

“What else did you tell her?”

“That we were planning to get together again.”

“What did she say?”

“Nothing, she doesn’t seem to be bothered by it, she was actually understanding.”

“That’s good. If you’re staying.”

“I’ll set up the couch.” I say pointing behind me.

“Okay.” She nods. “Y-you can sleep here.”

“Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of taking things slow?”

“But what if Clark need you? You should be right across the hall, rather than downstairs.”

“You’re going to guilt me into getting into the bed, aren’t you?”

“If that’s what it takes.” She whispers, trying to hide a shy smile.

“You’re still just as bad as ever, aren’t you?”

“I mean…” She shrugs.

“Can I at least go change?”

“Of course.” She says. I smile, making my way downstairs to get pajamas out of my overnight bag, I change in the downstairs bathroom and brush my teeth, taking a deep breath before making sure everything was locked and turned off, making my way back upstairs to see Laura sitting up in bed with her laptop on her lap. The memories of what this was prior to her promotion give me an uneasy feeling. She looks up and smiles, closing her laptop and taking off her glasses, something she wouldn’t have done all those months ago. “Don’t worry, I was just responding to an email and it’s a lot easier to do it on my laptop than it is on my phone.”

“Okay.” I say, walking into the room, pulling back the covers and lying down. “I don’t like how long it’s been.”

“I know you don’t.” Laura whispers, brushing the hair out of my face. “I don’t either.” I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into my chest and hold her as we both quietly cry into each other.


	5. Chapter 5

-Carmilla POV-

“Do you have anything else, Mama?” Clark asks as I walk in with another box.

“This is it, Bud.”

“Can I help bring it upstairs?”

“You can help Mama unpack, but she’ll bring it up, I don’t think you’re strong enough just yet and I don’t want you to get hurt.” Laura says, running her fingers through his hair. Thankfully chemo didn’t cause him to lose too much hair, but we chose to cut it short just in case. Granted he is a boy and it wouldn’t be a big deal for him to be bald, that being the reason given by some of the doctors and nurses, but Laura and I knowing Clark know how much he loved his long hair and he was upset that he even had to cut even a little of it. He has been on outpatient chemo for about a month now and was getting better; he was stronger on his good days, but still experienced bad days, although, the good were outweighing the bad.

“How about we have some lunch and then you can help me?”

“Okay, can I have some soup? It’s cold.”

“You can have some soup, we’ll share.” I say, walking into the kitchen with Clark close behind me. 

* * *

“Mama?”

“Yes, Sweetie?” I say as I sort out my clothes, putting them in the drawers that were mine prior to the divorce and to my surprise were still empty.

“I’m happy you and Mommy made up.”

“Me too.” I smile, kissing his forehead. “How are you feeling today?”

“Today is a good day, Mama.” He smiles. “Tomorrow will be a yucky day cause I have to get my medicine tomorrow.”

“I know. But the medicine is helping.”

“But it makes me feel all pukey.”

“I know.” I say, running my fingers through his hair. “But then you take a nap and feel better.” 

“Yeah, I know.” He says quietly. “Can I go visit Nana this weekend?"

“I’ll talk to Mommy and I’ll give Nana a call, you know Micah will have to go with you right?”

“Yeah, I know. That’s okay.” Clark says, getting off of the bed. “I’m going to take a nap in my room.”

“Okay, I’ll tell Mommy.”

“What are you telling me?” Laura asks, walking into the room with a laundry basket.

“I’m going to take a nap.” Clark says through a yawn.

“That’s okay.” She says, kissing the top of his head. “Just be prepared for Micah to wake you up when he’s home.”

“I know.” Clark smiles, walking out of the room.

“Do you want help?” I ask, putting away the last of my clothes as Laura places the basket on the bed.

“You never liked folding laundry.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t want to help.” I shrug, as I start helping her out.

“Why would you avoid it like the plague then?” Laura chimes.

“Cause I don’t like it, you just said that. But I’m willing to help you.”

“Who folded your laundry all this time?”

“Ell.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’d make sure it was washed and dried and she would fold it cause she’s a sadistic person who actually liked folding clothes.”

“Are you going to miss going home to her?”

“Not nearly as much as I missed coming home to you.” I admit, looking up to see Laura smile shyly. “No matter what, it was always something I loved.”

“We’re going to make up for lost time, right?”

“I’m folding laundry with you…” I tease.

“You have a point.” She says, throwing a balled up pair of socks at me.

“You still wear these?” I ask, holding up a pair of panties with little chickens on them. “These look new though, so let me rephrase, you still buy these?”

“When there is a sale, I tend to get them, yes.” Laura admits, her cheeks turning red.

“Cute.”

“Shut up.”

“I’ll try them on for you later.” I say with a wink.

“Like that time we were in college?”

“You remember that?”

“How could I forget, I come home to see you lying in bed with my pineapple panties on. And the matching bra you took upon yourself to buy.”

“Not that you were complaining then.”

“No, no I wasn’t.” She says with a shy smile. “What was it you and Clark were talking about before?”

“Nothing, he wants to go see my mom this weekend.”

“Micah will have to go too.”

“I told him that, he didn’t seem to mind, as long as he gets to see Mom.”

“He can go, I’ll call your mom later.”

“Do you have to work?”

“I’m on leave until after the holidays.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

“We’ll have the weekend to reconnect if you want to take advantage of that.”

“I would like that.” I whisper. “We also have to get everything together for Micah’s birthday.”

“True, he wants to have a Moana themed party, he says she’s his favorite princess and his girl friend’s he want to invite likes her too and he wants the girls to be happy.”

“Our boy is forward thinking on his own. I’m so proud.”

“As am I. But thankfully they’re going to be out of the house for a couple of days so we can get the things we need.”

“I have to go shopping?” I whine.

“Think of it as rekindling our marriage, just like folding laundry.” Laura chimes.

“Fine.”

* * *

“Cupcake, are we getting a piñata?”

“No, where are we going to do it?”

“In the backyard.”

“No.” She says, shaking her head. “You can get candy for the goodie bags, but not a lot of candy.”

“More for us?” I chime, watching Laura smile.

“Duh.” She says. I kiss her cheek before going to the aisle with the candy and goodie bags.

“You kissed my cheek.” Laura says as I walk back over to her.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She says, shaking her head as she steps forward and kisses mine. “There, we’re even.”

“What else do we need to get this gremlin child for his birthday?”

“We got plates, napkins, table cloth, goodie bags, candy, decorations… I think that’s everything, it won’t be bad if we have to get something we forgot, we have a couple of weeks.”

“Whatever you say, Cupcake.”

“Micah wants cupcakes.”

“If you eat any, it’s cannibalism.”

“Done be a jerk.” She says, slapping my arm playfully. “What do you want for dinner?”

“Can we order in?”

“Sure, you want Chinese from that place we like so much?”

“Sounds perfect.”

 

-Laura POV-

“Are you seriously going to take the last dumpling?”

“Maybe.” Carmilla chimes, poking it onto her fork.

“Carm, I got two orders because it’s my favorite, you’re really going to do that to me?”

“You ate so many of these already, Dumpling. I just want one more.”

“But they’re my favorite.” I whine, giving her my best puppy eyes.

“Seriously, you’re such a child.” She sighs, holding her for out to me. I smile, taking the dumpling from her fork. “You’re lucky I had my chicken and broccoli.”

“I know.” I smile, taking a sip of water. The air between us gets silent, but comfortable at least.

“Do you want to talk about anything?” Carmilla asks, placing with the piece of chicken on her plate.

“Do you?”

“I want to make promises, and keep them.”

“What kind of promises?”

“I promise to take time out of my day to sit down with you and talk about said day.”

“I promise to do the same.” I say with a small smile. “I promise to make sure we have at least one night a week where we go out and have time to ourselves.”

“I promise to make sure we make it into be at the same time.”

“I promise to express my feelings, rather than keeping them bottled up.”

“I promise to do the same.” Carmilla chimes. “I promise to go to counseling with you.” 

“Thank you.” I say, reaching over and placing my hand on top of hers. “I’m going to call after the holidays, seeing as it’s a bit hectic due to Clark being sick, and Micah’s birthday. Then we have to worry about Christmas and getting the boys what they want on their lists. You’re still coming to my dad’s for Thanksgiving.”

“And we go to Mother’s for dessert. I know that’s something that won’t change.”

“My dad actually missed seeing you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“He said it was different without you in a corner reading a book while everyone else watched football.”

“Well, at least Sherman missed me.”

“Don’t think I didn’t.” I whisper. “I missed you very much this time last year, and I hated having to share the kids with you, we should have all been together.”

“I know, but we will be this year, there is nothing to worry about.”

“I know. It’s just going to take time.”

“That it will.” She nods, giving my hand a squeeze. Carmilla and I find our-selves lying face to face in bed. “Don’t stare at me, it’s creepy.” Carmilla teases.

“You’re so creepy looking, I can’t help but stare at you.” I tease, causing Carmilla to chuckle.

“You’re mean.”

“Far from it.”

“I’m happy to be home.” Carmilla says, pulling me closer to her, resting her forehead on mine. “C-can I kiss you?” She inaudibly whispers.

“Y-yes.” I nod. The feeling of her lips on mine still had the same spark as it did when she first kissed me, the same warm feeling low in my stomach. I feel Carmilla begin to push me onto my back. “Don’t push your luck.” I whisper against her lips, looking up at her as I hold her face in my hands, Carmilla smiles leaning in and kissing me again.

“I know.” She whispers.

 

-Carmilla POV-

Laura and I walk up the steps to my mother’s house, hand in hand. I smile at Laura, kissing her quickly before letting us into the house. “Hello?”

“Hi Mama!” Micah shouts, running towards us. “Hi Mommy.”

“Hi Sweetheart.” Laura smiles, kissing the top of his head. “Where’s Nana?”

“In the kitchen, she was letting us make cookies.”

“Well, you know Mommy can’t resist cookies.” I tease, leading the way into the kitchen. “Hey Mom.”

“Hello, Sweetheart. How are you?”

“Doing good, Mom. Doing real good. How are you doing, Clark?”

“I’m good Mama, today is a good day!” He says, giving me a hug.

“That’s wonderful.” I say, kissing the top of his head. “Nana made me a hat.” 

“I’m surprised Nana found the time.”

“Oh hush you.” Mother chimes. “I find the time to make things for my grandbabies.”

“Leave your mother alone.” Laura says.

“You two seem content.”

“We are.” I smile. “I mean, as of this morning, who knows what will happen.” I tease.

“Don’t be a jerk.”

“Carmilla, be nice.” Mother chimes.

“Yes, Mom.”

“Mama, stop.” Clark says, I look over to see worry all over his face.

“Hey, Mommy and I are just kidding.” I say, walking over and picking him up. “Mommy and I are fine. We had a good night last night and are being so super nice to each other.”

“You better be.” He says, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“We promise.” Laura says. “Everything is good.”

“Okay.” The eight-year-old whispers.

“Why don’t you go watch TV with Micah and I’ll call you in when the cookies are ready.” Mother smiles, Clark nods his head, doing as he’s told.

“Before you say it, no we never fought in front of the boys.” I say, putting my hand up to stop her from asking her question.

“I believe you.”

“So then why ask?”

“Just curious.”

“We barely had time to fight with each other, let alone do it in front of them.” Laura chimes. “And besides, we wouldn’t want them to be exposed to that. Whatever takes place between Carmilla and I is something we don’t want to expose to the boys, especially if it is negative.”

“Exactly. Laura and I are bringing love back to the forefront, and that’s what matters.” I smile, kissing the side of her head. 

“Just don’t rush off into things, remember what happened, and know that you shouldn’t let that be forgotten just yet.”

“We know Mother, trust us.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... Everyone still here? Or did the Carmilla Movie take away from the hype of this story? Which I wouldn't blame you for, honestly, it was the best movie I have seen and fulfilled a lot of different things in the realm of representation, and character arcs... everything. If you haven't had a chance to see it yet, hopefully you will get to enjoy it soon :) anyway, here is the next installment of this story, I hope you enjoy.

-Carmilla POV-

_“We should find somewhere outside of the city to move to.” I say, as Laura and I sit on the couch watching TV._

_“You’re kidding, right?” Laura laughs._

_“I’m serious, I think it would be good for the boys.”_

_“And what, we’ll both have to commute?”_

_“I could put in at other colleges.”_

_“Then_ I _would have to commute.” She complains. “I don’t want to commute every day.”_

_“You could always change your schedule.”_

_“To what, weekends?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Then I wouldn’t have free time to spend with you and the boys.”_

_“You don’t even spend your free time with us anyway.”_

_“Are you really going to start?” Laura says as she sits up straight._

_“You’re starting first. Rather than just saying some bullshit about thinking about it, or something else…”_

_“I don’t want to move.” She snaps_

_“Fine. Sorry I brought it up.” I sigh, getting up and walking upstairs._

* * *

The house was quiet, seeing as it was nearly six in the morning and everyone was still asleep. “Why are you up?” Laura mumbles when she feels me get out of bed.

“I’m going to go for a run.”

“You? Run?”

“Yes, I run. I’m just going to the park. I’ll be back in a little while. Do you want anything?”

“Cocoa.” She says, opening her eyes slightly and giving me a lazy smile. “Please. And for the boys.”

“Of course.” I smile, leaning down to kiss her. “I’ll be back.”

“Be careful.”

“I will.” I whisper, gathering my clothes and changing quickly. 

* * *

“Good morning Mama!” Micah shouts, wrapping his arms around me as I walk into the house.

“Good morning, Monkey. I brought you something.”

“Cocoa?”

“Yep.” I smile, watching his eyes get bigger.

“Thank you.” He smiles, taking the cup from me when I hand it to him.

“You’re welcome.” I say, going into the living room to find Laura and Clark watching TV. “Good morning all.”

“Morning Mama! What’s that?”

“Cocoa for you, and cocoa for Mommy.” I chime, giving them each a cup.

“Why is Mommy’s bigger?”

“Because Mommy is an adult.”

“Do I ever get to have a big one?” He asks, sipping from his cup.

“We’ll think about it.” Laura says, kissing the side of his head.

“I’m going to shower and I’ll be right back down.”

“Okay.” Laura smiles.

 

-Laura POV-

“Do you think Mama will ever leave again?” Clark asks, his eyes focused on the TV while I looked at him, confused by his question.

“No, why would you ask that, Sweetheart?”

“I saw her texting Ell yesterday. They were sending emojis.”

“Ell is still her friend, she’s allowed to still be friends with Ell.” 

“Are you still allowed to be friends with Danny?”

“I don’t want to be friends with Danny, but if I did, then yes.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t want you to worry about Mama and I, you’re too young, and if I didn’t trust her she wouldn’t have come back home.”

“Okay, Mommy.” He says with a smile, taking a sip from his cocoa. Carmilla walks into the room a little while later, her hair damp from the shower as she plops down beside me.

“My dad is coming by tonight to watch the boys.” I say as she wraps her arm around my shoulders.

“Okay, what are we doing?”

“Dinner at the Italian place we like on the other side of the park.”

“Okay.” She smiles, kissing the side of my head. 

* * *

_“Why do you always get Fettuccini Alfredo?” Carmilla asks, as she looks over the menu._

_“I think of it as mature mac and cheese.”_

_“But the pasta isn’t even in the same category.”_

_“So?”_

_“I can’t.” Carmilla smiles as she shakes her head._

_“You love me.”_

_“That I do, you know that.” She smiles. Once the waiter comes over, she orders for the two of us, as per usual she orders in Italian, a cocky smile on her face as she does so._

_“Will you teach me one of the many languages you know?”_

_“Some day, we could make it fun.” She chimes, wiggling her eyebrows._

_“You always have to turn it into sex of some kind.” I whisper._

_“You say that like it isn’t fun.”_

_“With you it’s never fun.” I tease, causing Carmilla to roll her eyes at me._

_“I beg to differ, oh wait, if memory serves me correctly you’re the one that likes begging.”_

_“Shut up.” I say through gritted teeth, kicking her under the table._

_“Ow, okay. Okay.” She chuckles. Carmilla looks at me, and smiles. “I love you.”_

_“So I’ve been told.”_

_“I hope by just me.”_

_“Well of course.” I chime. “I love you too, just so you know.”_

_“I would assume so.” Carmilla teases. We fall into a mix of comfortable silence and light conversation once our meals arrive. Carmilla playing footsies with me under the table, causing us to exchange small smiles every so often._

_“Would you like to see the dessert menu?” The waiter asks once we finish dinner._

_“Tiramisu please.” Carmilla says, looking at me with a knowing smile. “And two cappuccinos.”_

_“No problem.” He smiles as he walks away._

_“So…” Carmilla says, looking down at the table._

_“So?”_

_“You know I love you.”_

_“That isn’t news, as I said before.” I chime, watching as she rolls her eyes with a smile._

_“I know it isn’t.”_

_“Why are you nervous? You’re usually so suave and confident.” Carmilla takes a deep breath. Looking at me with a cocked eyebrow._

_“Okay.” She nods, reaching into her pocket. Carmilla then places a small envelope on the table, sliding it over towards me before sitting back and watching me with an expressionless look on her face. I open the envelope, allowing the contents of it to fall into my hand gasping as a diamond ring falls into my palm. I look up to see Carmilla smirking at me. “Will you?” She asks, gesturing to the ring._

_“Only if you put it on me.” I say as she reaches over, taking the ring from my hand and holding it between her fingers._

_“Laura Eileen Hollis, will you marry me?”_

_“Of course I will.” I chime as she slides the ring onto my finger. I get out of my chair and walk over to kiss her deeply for a moment before sitting back down and admiring the ring. “I love you.”_

_“I love you too.”_

-Carmilla POV-

“I feel like the last time we were here was when you proposed.” Laura says as we are seated at a table, hidden away in a far corner of the restaurant.

“No, I thought we came here when I told you I was pregnant with Clark?”

“You told me that at the other restaurant we like in Chelsea.”

“Oh, you’re right. What about when you were pregnant with Micah?”

“No, for that we were in our bedroom after I took the test.”

“Right, right. I feel like me proposing to you seems too long for us to have not been here since.” I say, looking over the menu. “No, we came here when you told me about your promotion.”

“Right, that was still three years ago.”

“It seems longer.” 

“That it does.” Laura says, looking over the menu before looking up at me with a shy smile.

“Let me guess, you’re getting the Alfredo?”

“Of course.” She chimes, putting the menu down. Once the waiter comes by, I order for the two of us before looking at Laura and smiling. “Are you happy with the decision we’re going to make?” Laura asks, reaching over and taking my hand in hers.

“Why wouldn’t I be? Leaving you was one of the stupidest decisions I’ve ever made.”

“The stupidest? What about that time in college you got so drunk and you almost beat up Perry? Laf nearly killed you.’

“Not nearly as stupid as thinking leaving the love of my life, and my sons, would solve my problems.”

“The love of your life, huh?” 

“Nothing short of it.” I say, rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand. “I don’t know what I would have done in my life, had you not been in it.”

“You would have had less stress…”

“Not nearly. That is something that doesn’t matter anyway, I love you and have loved you for all these years since I met you.”

“You’ve told me you never believed in love at first sight prior to meeting me.” Laura smiles, looking up at me.

“It’s true. I thought that was all fairytale bullshit before I met you. You changed a lot about me, Laura. You brought out so much in me that I didn’t know was there. I don’t know what it is… what is was… I just knew that as soon as I saw you, I wanted to know everything about you and have you to myself as much as possible.” I confess to her quietly.

“I feel as though you’ve never told me these things.”

“Because I don’t think I have told you these things, well in a straight forward sense like this, maybe in other ways. But the honesty of being able to tell you outright… that’s something else.” 

* * *

 _I sat at the desk in the lobby of the dorms, reading a tattered copy of_ The Shining. _I look up every so often to see who’s coming and going when a flash of golden hair and a bright smile breaks me from my book. I look over to see the most beautiful girl in the entire world, laughing with a small group of people she was walking in with. They were all dressed up in different Hogwarts house uniforms, seeing as it was Halloween and there were several different parties taking place around campus. The girl was a Hufflepuff, the opposite of me, a Slytherin. She had on the yellow and black tie peaking out of the top of her authentic house sweater, or “jumper” as it would really be called. There was something about her, without even speaking to her, I was drawn to her in several ways, and the main thing going through my head was, how could I make her mine?_

_“Hey.” I hear some one say, I look up to see the girl smiling at me._

_“H-hey. Hi.” I stammer, feeling my face turn hot as she lets out a giggle._

_“Would you mind taking a picture of me and my friends? Seeing as you’re the only person here.”_

_“Sure.” I say, putting my book down and getting up from the desk. The girl hands me her phone as goes back over to her friends. I do what she asks of me, and give her back the phone._

_“Thank you…”_

_“Carmilla.” I say._

_“Carmilla. That’s a pretty name.”_

_“Thank you.”_

_“I’m Laura, and thank you again for the picture.”_

_“Not a problem, Laura.” I smile._

_“Maybe I’ll see you around again.”_

_“Maybe.” I shrug, going back to the desk as she and her friends make their way into the elevator, she gives me a small wave just as the doors close, I couldn’t help but smile. When my shift was finally over I made my way up to my room, stepping out of the elevator to see Laura standing by the window talking on the phone._

_“Hey!” She calls out once I’m about halfway down the hallway. I turn to see her smiling at me._

_“Hey.” I say quietly._

_“I didn’t know you were on this floor.”_

_“Y-yeah. I’m in the room at the end of the hall.”_

_“Oh, you’re in once of the single rooms?”_

_“Yes.” I nearly whisper._

_“Don’t be embarrassed about it, everyone is entitled to their privacy, I wish I had my own room at time, sharing can be annoying.” Laura says, putting her phone in her pocket._

_“I could imagine.”_

_“Come on Frosh! Let’s go.” A redheaded person says from the other end of the hallway._

_“I have to go. Maybe you’d like company one day?”_

_“Y-yeah. I wouldn’t mind that. Just come by whenever.”_ _  
_

_“_ _Okay.” She smiles, going to her friend when they call out again. “You should learn when to shut up Laf!” I hear Laura shout as I walk to my room._

* * *

“Hey girls.” Sherman says as we walk into the house.

“Hi Dad.” Laura says, kissing his cheek. “How were they?”

“Clark didn’t feel too good, he didn’t want to eat all that much, and Micah was wonderful.” 

“Clark is still going through chemo so…” I say, helping Laura out of her jacket. “Did he at least drink his shake?”

“Yeah, he had a chocolate one.”

“Then we’re okay.” Laura says. “Thank you, Dad.”

“No problem, Sweetheart. You know I love seeing the boys.” Sherman smiles, giving Laura a hug. “You better treat her right.” He says with a stern tone.

“I know, Sir. We’re going to be okay.”

“Okay.” He nods, giving me a firm handshake.

“Leave her alone, Daddy.” Laura says, rolling her eyes. “We’re adults and we handle things our own way, even if it is irrational.”

“Whatever you say, Laura. I just don’t want anymore irrational decisions to be made anymore.”

“Okay, okay.” Laura says, getting frustrated.

“I’ll leave you two alone, if you need anything, call me.”

“I will. Thank you again, Dad.”

“Anything for you, Pumpkin.” Sherman says, kissing Laura on the cheek before leaving.

“He still hates me.” I say as soon as the door closed behind him.

“He never hated you.” Laura says, walking towards me and wrapping her arms around me from behind, kissing the back if my neck.

“Yes he did.”

“No he didn’t, besides, he disliked everyone I ever was with. Even when I was with Danny, he hated her and would talk to me about how much he would rather see me with you.”

“Really?”

“Why would I make that up?”

“I’m not saying you did.” I say, turning around to face her. “I don’t want to think about this anymore.” I whisper, leaning in to kiss her. “We’re working together to right everything.”

“And that’s all that matters.”

“Exactly.” I smile, brushing the hair out of her face.

“MAMA!” We hear Clark shout, I run up the stairs with Laura close behind me. “Mama.” He cries again.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” I say, walking into his room to see his hair and shirt, soaking wet.

“I had a bad dream.” He cries, clinging to me.

“You’re okay, you’re here with me and Mommy. We’re here.” I say, carrying him out of his bed and into our room. “Could you get him a new shirt, Cupcake? This one is all sweaty.”

“Okay.”

“Can I take this off, Bud? It’s all sweaty.”

“Please.” He nods, lifting up his arms as I pull it off. I hold back the gasp when I look at the boy’s chest all scarred up from surgeries, and the implant of his port for his cancer medicine. “Is something wrong, Mama?” He asks, wiping his tears from his face.

“Everything is fine, Sweetheart.” I smile, kissing his cheek.

“Here’s your shirt.” Laura says, handing it to me to put on him. “Do you want to stay in here with Mama and I?”

“Please.” He nods.

“Okay, here’s Olly.” She says, handing him his teddy bear.

“Thank you, Mommy.”

“You’re welcome.” She says, kissing the top of his head. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Get comfy, I’m going to change.” I say, getting up and walking over to get my pajamas. I walk into the bathroom and change quickly before washing my face and brushing my teeth when Laura walks in, kissing the side of my neck. “What’s that for?” I ask, rinsing my mouth.

“I love how you are with the boys, especially Clark.”

“Has anything happened in the last year that you didn’t tell me about?”

“No, all those scars are still from when he was four.”

“Okay.”

“I would have called you the moment something happened, you know that. Just like I did this past time.”

“I know. I just haven’t seem them in a while.”

“I know, everything is okay though, nothing more has happened to him.”

“Okay.”

“He looks like you when he sleeps.” She smiles as I turn to face her. “It’s crazy how much he looks like you.”

“Well, he is mine.” I say.

“I know that.”

“That doesn’t bother you, does it?”

“Not at all, I wanted a black haired baby that looks just like you.” Laura smiles, leaning in to kiss me. 

“And I’m happy to have a bouncing little one that looks like you.”

“Would you ever want another?”

“Would you?”

“I don’t know… I wouldn’t mind considering it.”

“We’ll think about it?”

“Yeah.” Laura nods with a smile. “We’ll think about it.”


	7. Chapter 7

-Carmilla POV-

“What are you doing?” Laura asks, lifting my leg and sitting down on the couch, letting my legs fall onto her lap.

“Reading.” I chime, looking at her over my book.

“About what?”

“Love.” I say, watching, as her expression grows curious.

“Love?” 

“Kierkegaard, Sweetheart.”

“Oh, your nineteenth century existential boyfriend.” Laura teases, moving so she was lying on me. “Let’s see what you have underlined there. ‘Spontaneous love is in despair in this way; but when it becomes happy, as it is called its state of desperation is hidden; when it becomes unhappy it is revealed – that it was in despair.’ That sound like some light reading.”

“When you love some one, the emotion of love has different ways it shows itself, Cupcake. There are also different forms of love according Kierkegaard. When you’re happy and around those you love, your sense of feeling despair isn’t there anymore, but once the feeling of love is gone, despair has a way of coming back.”

“Oh…”

“Still a lot to process?”

“A bit.” She smiles; looking over at me from here she had her head on my shoulder. “It’s your area of expertise, so I guess you really just need to be able to process it and explain it to your students.”

“Pretty much.” I say, running my fingers through her hair. “Although, I don’t make my student read his works. Only if they want to, I have them pick one philosopher from any era and write a paper on them.” 

“So do any of them write about your favorite?”

“I’ve only had a handful. Everyone thinks I want to read about the opinions on Plato, and Socrates.” I say, rolling my eyes. “I get a few on Kant, several on Nietzsche, and a couple Sartre.”

“I don’t know who any of those people are, except for Plato.”

“That’s fine, Cupcake. I wouldn’t expect you to.”

“Is that supposed to be an insult?”

“Far from it. They aren’t widely known unless you take a philosophy course.”

“Ah.”

“How are Clark and Micah?”

“Good, your mother texted me saying they were going to make a gingerbread house.”

“That sounds like something they’ll enjoy.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you get all of your shopping done?”

“Everything should be delivered during the week. If Micah or Clark ask what any of it is…”

“They’re books for me. I know.” I say, kissing her forehead. “Are we still going to go to a therapist?”

“Do you want to?”

“I don’t know, I think we’ve been good for these past couple of months… I don’t think we need someone else’s input.” 

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, like you said, we’re doing okay, there is no reason to have another person’s input unless it’s necessary and it isn’t right now.”

“So we’re just going to go with the flow.”

“Like we have been.”

“Yeah.” I say, getting lost in Laura’s eyes.

“What?” She whispers, taking the book from my hands, marking the page and putting it on the end table behind us. I lean in and kiss her, moving so that we were both lying on our sides. “You’re answer has always been to kiss me.” Laura whispers against my lips.

“I feel like it’s the only way to express how I feel sometimes…” I say, brushing the hair from her face.

“What are you thinking about?”

“A lot.”

“One thing on the top of the list.”

“Having another baby.”

“That’s at the top of your list?”

“Yes, it is. I would love to have another baby with you, I don’t care about anything that has happened in the last year; all I know is that I want to have a baby with you again.”

“Do you want to be pregnant again or do you just want to have another baby in general?”

“Both is need be, but preferably the latter.”

“You liked when I was pregnant.” Laura smiles.

“You were hot when you were pregnant. Something about seeing you go through the motions of having a baby and whatnot.”

“We can go to the doctor. We’ll look into starting the process.”

“Okay.”

“I – I just don’t want this baby to be something it shouldn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want them to be a way to save a marriage or something like that.”

“They aren’t going to be. I’ve wanted another baby since Micah was able to walk.”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to have another baby since before then. It just wasn’t the right time with the way everything was happening.”

“Well now is a decent time to start again, don’t you think?” I say, sitting up straight.

“We’ll weigh our options soon.” Laura says, leaning in and kissing me quickly. 

* * *

“Mama?” Micah asks, walking over to where I was in the kitchen getting things together for Thanksgiving dinner.

“Yes, Love?”

“Why aren’t we going to Grandpa’s for Thanksgiving?”

“We don’t want Clark too far from home since he still doesn’t feel good. It’s better that we stay home. Besides everyone is coming here, Nana, Grandpa, Laf and Perry. Everyone.”

“Is Uncle Kirsch coming?”

“I’m pretty sure, but you have to ask Mommy that one.”

“Okay.” He chimes, walking out of the kitchen. “Mommy!”

“Yes?” I hear Laura call out from the living room. I get back to chopping vegetables and making sure everything is in order before my mother gets in.

“Mommy said he’s coming!” Micah shouts, running back into the kitchen. “I miss him! And Uncle Will!”

“Well, Uncle Will is coming because Nana will make him.”

“I’m excited.” The little boy shouts, running around the house.

“Haven’t your mothers told you not to run in the house?” My mother asks, walking into the kitchen. “Hello, Sweetie.”

“Hi Nana! I’m just excited Uncle Will and Uncle Kirsch are coming.” He says, wrapping his arms around my mother’s legs. “Happy Thanksgiving!”

“Happy Thanksgiving. Did you get to see the parade?”

“We had it on the TV, Clark wasn’t feeling too good so we couldn’t go see it for real.”

“Is he okay?” She asks, looking at me.

“Tired, a little nauseous, same old. I don’t know if he’ll join us for dinner, but I know he would love to see you.”

“I’ll go up there in a little bit, I came to start cooking!” Mom says with a smile as she kisses me on the cheek. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Where’s Laura?”

“Right here. How are you Lilita?”

“Doing well, how are you?”

“Doing well.” Laura smiles, giving my mother a hug.

“And how are things between the two of you?”

“We’re doing really well, Mother.” I say, wrapping my arm around Laura’s shoulder and kissing the side of her head.

“Good to hear, as always. Now are you going to tell me what it is you two are keeping from everyone?” Mother chimes, making her way around the kitchen as she prepares to pick up where Laura and I left off.

“What do you mean by that?” Laura asks, looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

“I know when you two are hiding something, cough it up.”

“Carm and I have been discussing about having another baby…”

“I knew it. What are you going to do first?” 

“What do you mean by that, Mother?'

“Are you going to have a baby first, or are you going to get remarried first? Even if it is just a civil thing and you go to the court house…”

“Mom, can we talk about this a different day? Please.” I say, rubbing my eyes.

“Okay.” She smiles. “No matter what your choice may be, I’ll be happy to see you two bring another happy and healthy baby into this world.”

“Wonderful.” Laura says, walking out of the room and upstairs. I follow Laura into the bedroom to see her sitting on the edge of the bed with her head in her hands.

“Are you okay?” I say, sitting beside her and rubbing her back.

“I don’t know. Honestly.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Do you think we’re moving back into things too quickly?”

“No, I don’t. We were together for a long time, and we split up on terms that weren’t…. proper. It was jumped into head first with no life vest.”

“But it’s only been a couple of months and we’re talking about having another baby. We aren’t even technically married anymore.”

“We’ll get remarried, we’ll go to court and do it civilly. We don’t need to have a big wedding or anything like that. I want this and I want you. I don’t want to lose you ever again.” I say, leaning in and kissing her. “I love you.” I whisper against her lips, feeling Laura sigh before she kisses me again, pulling my on top of her as she lies back on the bed. She then rolls me onto my back, pinning my arms about me as she straddles my waist. Laura pulls away, resting her forehead against mine as we catch our breath.

“Say it again.” She whispers.

“I love you.” I say, brushing the hair from her face as she leans in and kisses me again.

“I love you, too.” Laura whispers, her voice shaking a bit. She pulls back a bit, looking at me with a sad smile. I place my hands in her cheeks, wiping the tears from her cheek with the pads of my thumbs. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, for anything.”

“I just haven’t heard those words in a long time. Not even from Danny… I missed hearing them from someone other than Clark or Micah.”

“I love you.” I say, kissing the tip of her nose. “That has never changed.”

“I feel the same way, Carm.” Laura says with a small smile, kissing me softly.

“Mama?” Clark asks, knocking on the door to our bedroom, Laura climbs off of me, making her way over to the dresser, grabbing a tissue to fix her makeup.

“What’s up Kiddo?”

“I was looking for you and Nana said to check in here.”

“We’re here, Sweetheart.” Laura says, walking over and picking him up, feeling his forehead with the back of her hand. “Do you feel okay?”

“My belly hurts.” He says, burying his face in the crook of Laura’s neck.

“Do you want to lay in the big bed?”

“Is it okay?”

“Of course, Sweetheart.” Laura coos, kissing his forehead as she lays him down on her side of the bed.

“Do you want anything, Bud?” I ask, sitting down beside him on the bed.

“When Nana is done, I want some of her stuffing.”

“Of course, Love.” Laura laughs, running her fingers through his hair.

“Can I ask you a question, because both of you are here.”

“Of course you can.” I say.

“Are you really going to have another baby? I heard you talking about it.”

“Would you be okay with that if we did?” Laura asks.

“I think so, but I don’t want to share my room.”

“You wont.” I say. “Let Mommy and I worry about that.”

“Okay.” He chimes. “Are you going to have a boy or a girl?”

“We don’t get to pick, but we can hope for what we want. Would you rather have another brother or a sister?”

“A sister. I don’t want another little brother. Micah is enough.” He says, causing Laura and I to start laughing. 

“I know he can be a handful.” Laura says. “So you want to sleep?'

“No. I miss having alone time with you and Mama, we haven’t had it since I was sick in the hospital.”

“I’m sorry, Kiddo. I know things have been hectic and we want you to get your rest, but we miss spending alone time with you too.” I say, kissing the top of his head.

“I know, but I’m happy that you and Mommy are together again, I missed it. I didn’t always like going to your house and then having to leave to come home to Mommy. It’s better that we are all here together again.” He says with a wide smile.

“We’re happy to be all here together too, Sweetie.” Laura says, taking my hand in hers. “Minus Micah, because he’s downstairs with everyone.”

“That’s okay though.” Clark says with a smile, causing Laura and I to laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested, the Kierkegaard book mentions is 'Works of Love'. It is one of my personal favorite and I recommend it.


	8. Chapter 8

-Carmilla POV-

“Hi Mama! I thought Mommy was getting me?” Micah asks as I reach his classroom door.

“Mommy had a doctor’s appointment, she’ll meet us at home.”

“Is she okay?” He says, taking my hand.

“Yes, she’s okay. She just needed to get a check up.”

“Does she need to get a shot?”

“No. Everything will be okay, don’t worry.”

“Okay Mama.”

* * *

“Carm!” I hear Laura shout as the front door slams behind her.

“In the living room.” I say, watching as she makes a beeline for me, nearly tackling me into the couch as she kisses me hard. “That’s a nice greeting.” I chime, kissing her again.

“I have news.”

“Does it have to do with the appointment you had today?”

“Yeah.” She smiles.

“Do you want me to call the boys down?”

“Sure.”

“Micah! Clark!” I say after covering Laura’s ears with my hands. I look at her with a smile as she rolls her eyes at me.

“I could have done that.”

“Yeah well.”

“What’s up Mama?” Clark asks.

“Come sit. In front of Mama and I.” Laura says, patting the end of the coffee table. The boys did as they were told, looking at Laura and I curiously. “I have some news.” Laura says with a smile.

“Is it front the doctor?” Micah asks.

“Yes. It’s from the doctor.” Laura says, taking my hand in hers. “So, when I went to the doctor, I had to talk about a test I took a couple of weeks ago.” She explains, trying to keep it at a simple level for the boys. “And so, long story short, I’m going to have a baby.” Laura smiles, we watch the boys intently waiting for their reactions. 

“Do you two have questions?”

“Is it gonna be a boy or a girl?” Micah asks, cocking his head to the side.

“We don’t know just yet.”

“Is it going to look like me and Mama, or Micah and Mommy?”

“They are going to look like Micah and I.”

“Why?” Clark asks.

“Well, we took turns. I went first and had you, then Mommy had Micah, but this time Mommy wanted to have the baby, so that’s why they’re going to look like her and Micah.”

“Why didn’t you want to have a baby?” Micah asks.

“Mama, had some trouble with Clark, and rather than worrying about her, we thought it would be a smart idea for me to have the baby instead.”

“How do they put the baby inside?” Micah asks.

“Well, Mommy goes to a special doctor that helps makes sure the baby gets in there.” Laura explains, looking at me as I try to not laugh.

“Mama, why are you laughing?” Clark asks.

“I wasn’t trying to laugh Sweetie. I had a tickle in my throat.” I say, forcing a cough. 

“Oh, do you need water?”

“I’m okay, thank you though.” I smile, leaning over to kiss his cheek. 

“Do you two have anymore questions?”

“Can we have pizza for dinner?” Micah asks.

“You’re going to turn into a pizza.” Laura teases, tickling his sides.

“You’re silly, Mommy. I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

* * *

I lay in bed and watched as Laura walked towards me with a smile. “What?” I say, sitting up.

“Nothing, I’m just happy.” She says, climbing onto the bed and giving me a kiss.

“Did you put your ring back on?” I ask as she takes my hands in hers.

“My wedding band, I remember throwing the engagement ring at you.”

“It hit me right between the eyes.”

“I know.” She says, looking away from me. I kiss the side of her head and move, walking over to the dresser and opening one of the drawers on my side. “So you didn’t pawn it?” Laura teases as I walk back over to her with the ring between my fingers.

“No, I didn’t. And I wouldn’t have.”

“I know, I’m just teasing.” She says, leaning in to kiss me, she takes the ring from me and puts it back on her ring finger, raising her hand slightly to get a better look at it on her hand. “It feels weird to be wearing it again.”

“You never wore the engagement ring that much once we got married.”

“I never wanted to lose it. That’s why I didn’t wear it.” Laura says, admiring the ring. “I still love it as much as I did the day you proposed.”

“I felt that way when I picked it out, I knew you were going to love it so much, I couldn’t leave it there.”

* * *

 

_I walk through the mall, shopping for new boots was the main objective, until I wandered into a jewelry store. “Can I help you, Miss?” An older man asks with a smile when he sees me looking at engagement rings._

_“Can I see that rose gold one? The one with the oval cut diamond?” I ask, pointing it out. He smiles, unlocking the case and pulling it out, he hands it to me and I smile as it sparkles under the lights._

_“It’s a beautiful ring isn’t it? Are you looking for yourself or are you looking for a special someone?”_

_“It’s about time I make an honest woman of my girlfriend, Sir. I think she’s going to love this one.”_

_“You looked as if it was the one as soon as you saw it.” He says with a polite smile._

_“And it is. Can we work up a price?”_

_“Of course, come with me over here.” He says, as I hand him back the ring._

* * *

_“Carmilla! How are you?” Sherman asks when he opens the door._

_“I’m very well, Sir. I wanted to talk to you about something.”_

_“Of course. How’s Laura, I haven’t heard from her in a couple of days.”_

_“She’s been busy working, which is why I was happy I had a minute to stop by.” I explain as we walk into the living room._

_“Would you like anything, Carmilla?”_

_“No, thank you.” I say, taking a deep breath. “Okay, so I kind of made a spit second purchase today, and I wanted to run it by you of course.”_

_“Okay.”_

_“I bought an engagement ring.” I say, looking up to see Sherman staring at me._

_“Okay.”_

_“I want to ask Laura to marry me. I don’t know exactly when I’m going to do it, but I know that she’s the only one for me and I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”_

_“I give you my blessing, if that’s what you’re looking for.”_

_“Thank you, Sir. I promise I won’t let you down.”_

_“Don’t hurt my daughter, and we won’t have an issue. It’s the simple.” He says with a smile. “Can I see the ring?” He asks. I reach into my bag and pull out the box, opening it. I look down and smile before handing the box to him. “You did good, Kid. She’s really going to love this ring.”_

_“It was the first one I saw and I knew I needed to have it for her.”_

_“Well, you are not going to upset. She’s going to be very happy.” He says, handing it back to me. “You know, I don’t say this often, I don’t have a reputation of sorts to uphold, but I knew from day one that you were the one for my daughter. There was something about you that made me very satisfied that my Laura chose you over anyone else she could have chosen. When she came out to me, I was a little weary about what that could mean for her future, but at the same time I was relieved I wouldn’t have to threaten any guys, I know how young men can be, and that was more of a fearful endeavor than her dating a woman. I’m happy you’re the woman for my daughter.”_

_“And she’s the woman for me, Sir.” I smile, closing the box and putting it back in my bag._

_“Propose when you feel it’s right. Don’t think just because you have the ring, you have to do it now. It doesn’t matter how long it takes…”_

_“I know. I don’t want to rush it. When the time is right, I’ll know it.”_

_“I’m proud of you, and happy for you. I know she’s going to say yes.”_

_“I know so too.”_

* * *

I turn on my side as Laura looks up at the ceiling, catching her breath from our recent activities. I place my hand in her stomach, just below her belly button as I lean in and kiss her cheek. “Do you want them to be a boy or a girl?”

“I want them to be healthy.” She says, turning to kiss my forehead. “But I wouldn’t mind a little girl.”

“I wouldn’t either. Two boys are enough, I wouldn’t mind a mini Laura running around here.”

“We’re going to have to look into a bigger place.”

“We can get rid of the guest room. Our child is more important than putting up people when they come to visit.”

“Okay.” I say, kissing Laura again. I move down her body kissing my way to her abdomen. “Hello there, Munchkin. I hope everything is okay in there. I can’t wait to meet you. I want to meet you more than anything. I love you so much already, and I know your Mommy does too. You also have two older brothers, Micah and Clark. Once you start growing, you’ll hear us talking to them and breaking up their fights, but they are going to love you just as much as we do.” I whisper, leaning in and kissing Laura’s abdomen. “I can’t wait to meet you.” I say, kissing Laura’s abdomen again. I look up at Laura and smile, moving back up her body and hovering above her for a moment.

“I missed this?”

“What?”

“When I was pregnant with Micah you used to do all of that, talk to him when he was in the womb, even if he was too early in his development to know you were doing it.” She smiles, caressing my cheek. “I love how sweet you can be.”

“I’m always sweet.”

“I know. I don’t deserve you sometimes.” She says, pulling me down so my forehead was against hers. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too. I love our family and I love our newest addition to be.”

“We have to go to the courthouse. We have to sign the marriage license again before they are born.”

“We’ll go during the week.” I say. “I promise. It will be quick and we won’t have to worry about making it a grand thing. I just have a question.”

“Okay.”

“Are we going to do counseling or not?”

“I think if we feel we should, we’ll do it. We communicate fairly well were I don’t think it’s a choice anymore.”

“Okay.” I say, leaning down to kiss her.

 

-Laura POV-

“But Mama!” I hear Micah laughing hysterically from the living room.

“What is it my Prince?”

“Hey! I thought I was the Prince?” I her Clark ask as I lean on the entry way of the living room, watching as they climb on Carmilla while she sits on the floor.

“You, Sir, are the King. May we bow to you in honor.” She says dramatically, standing on her knees and bowing to the little bow as she elbows Micah to do the same.

“Your highness.” Micah chimes, looking over and smiling at me. “Hi Mommy! You’re the Queen!”

“Am I?”

“Yes, we must bow to you.” Micah says, making Carmilla bow when he does.

“You don’t have to bow to me as the Prince. But Mama does, she’s the Court Jester.” I tease, causing Carmilla to smile.

“Well then.” Carmilla says lying on the floor dramatically.

“Come on Mama, we’re just kidding.” Clark says, shaking Carmilla a bit. She shouts, jolting Clark a bit as she grabs his sides and tickles him.

“Mama, Mama. Stop.” He says through laughter.

“Okay.” She says, leaning in and peppering his face with kisses. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He chimes. I walk over and plop down on the couch.

“How was work?” Carmilla asks, sitting down beside me and giving me a kiss.

“I’ll talk to you about it later.” I whisper. Giving her another kiss.

“Is it bad?”

“No.”

“Okay. Are you hungry? The boys and I decided to call in.” 

“What are you guys looking into having?”

“I wanted spaghetti but Mama didn’t want to make it. We’re going to order it and have it brought here.” Micah says.

“Italian?”

“Unless you want something else.”

“I wanted a burger.” Clark sighs.

“Clark and I will get from the diner, and you and Micah can get Italian?”

“The diner does have spaghetti, he wouldn’t know the difference.”

“True. I was a burger and fries too.”

“I want onion rings!” Clark shouts.

“I’m happy to see you’re getting your appetite back.” I say, kissing the side of his head.

“Me too! I missed eating real food, but my belly always felt yucky from the medicine.”

“I know, Sweetie.”

“I hope the baby doesn’t get sick like me. I know they’re going to be my brother or sister, so we share DNA, but I hope they don’t get the sick gene too.”

“We hope so too, Kiddo.” Carmilla says, crawling over to where we sat on the couch. “But you are better now, and even though it may be just for now, you know that you’ll have to get checked to make sure it doesn’t come back.”

“I know. I don’t want a baby sibling to have to worry like me.” He says quietly, playing with a loose thread on his shirt.

“Everything will be okay. We don’t want you worrying about the baby.” I say, running my fingers through his hair.

“Okay.” He says, reaching over and patting my belly. “Why aren’t you big yet?” He asks, causing Carmilla to nearly fall over from holding in her laughter.

“I only just found out, once they baby starts growing, my belly would get bigger. Before you know it, you won’t be able to hug Mommy all that much anymore.”

“I’ll still hug you, it will just be hard to!” He chimes.

“That’s true.” I smile, kissing the top of his head.

“Mama! I want my spaghetti!” Micah says, crashing into Carmilla’s side.

“I’ll call it in now.” She says, kissing the side of his head. 

* * *

I walk into the bedroom to see Carmilla sitting up and reading what looked like a paper from one of her students. “Hey.” She smiles, taking her glasses off and placing the things in her hand on the bedside table. “So what happened at work today?”

“Getting right to the point I see.” I chime, climbing into bed and kissing her quickly. “I put my two weeks notice in.” 

“You did what?”

“My last day in the first Friday of February.”

“Why though?"

“I don’t want to miss out of the boys’ lives and now with this little one on they way… I don’t want my career to tie me down. I can find a job that caters to working from home and will be fine. But for right now, I want to focus on the boys and this little being.” I say, patting my stomach.

“Are you happy with this choice?” Carmilla asks, turning on her side to face me.

“Yes. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time.”

“So long as you’re happy.”

“I am. I wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t going to be.” I smile, leaning in to kiss her.

“How would you feel if I picked up another shift at the school then? At least so we don’t have to worry about money in between. I would just do one more class on Monday and Wednesday.”

“That’s fine.”

“Okay. I love you, Cupcake.”

“I love you too.” I smile, leaning in to kiss her.


	9. Chapter 9

-Laura POV-

“Mommy, why does your belly sound whooshy?” Clark asks, resting his head against my belly. “Does the baby make it do that?”

“The baby is in a water ball type thing, so when they move it makes the whoosh sounds.” I say, running my fingers through Clark’s curly black hair.

“Was I like that?”

“Yes, you were and so was Micah. But you were in Mama’s belly, and Micah was in mine.”

“Why isn’t the baby in Mama’s belly this time?”

“Mama had some trouble giving birth to you, so it was advised that she didn’t have another baby.”

“Did I hurt Mama?”

“No, you didn’t hurt Mama at all. Things just happen sometimes and Mama had a hard time having you.”

“So it just happens?”

“Yes. It just happens. Don’t worry, Mama was happy she got to have you.” I say with a smile as he looks up at me. “You look so much like Mama.”

“I know. Nana says that too!”

“You’re so handsome.”

“Thank you Mommy. And you’re beautiful.” He smiles, kissing me on the cheek.

“Thank you Sweetie.”

“We’re home!” Micah shouts, running into the room and jumping on the bed. “Hi Mommy.” 

“Hello. Where’s Mama?”

“She’s putting the groceries away.” 

“Did you help Mama at the store?”

“Yes. She got me a treat.”

“I bought everyone a treat, not just you.” Carmilla chimes, walking over and kissing me quickly as she hands me a bag. “How do you feel?”

“Good today.” I smile, looking into the bag to see cookies. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome, share with the children.” She warns playfully as she kisses me again. “I’m going to get dinner ready.”

“Okay.”

“Mommy, do we get to have the treat before dinner?” Clark asks.

“Of course you can.” I chime, reaching into the bag and handing each boy a cookie.

 

-Carmilla POV-

I walk into the bedroom to see Laura reading through a new edition of some pregnancy book she bought. “Hey.” 

“Hey. Where are you going?” She asks, closing her book over and rubbing her eyes

“I have a meeting to go to. I only checked my email a few minutes ago and saw it was from the department chair.” I explain, walking over and kissing Laura. “I promise, I’ll be home soon.”

“Okay. I trust you.”

“I know, and I don’t want you to be upset with me, we’re still easing into things.”

“Easing into things, we’re expecting our third baby and are remarried, civilly.”

“I know. I just don’t want you worrying every time I leave here. I have a meeting, it should be quick, and I’ll be home in a couple of hours.”

“I love you.” She says quietly.

“I love you too. You know that.” I say, kissing the top of her head. 

* * *

Once the meeting ended I made my way to my office quickly to drop off some paperwork before making my way off of campus and make my way to the subway. I stood on the platform waiting for my train. “Hey.” I hear someone say, I turn to see Ell standing beside me with a small smile on her face. “How are you?”

“I’m great. How are you?”

“Hanging in there. How are the boys?”

“Clark is in remission, Micah is happy to be in school.”

“How’s Laura?”

“She’s good. She’s pregnant.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“Things between you two must have worked out.”

“Yeah. We, uhm, we’re remarried and all that fun stuff.”

“That’s good. I’m happy for you.” Ell smiles, stepping forward and wrapping me in a hug. “I knew you two would end up together again, so don’t feel bad that you haven’t called me or anything. I mean it when I say I understand, Carmilla.”

“I’m surprised you’re so understanding…”

“When you and I got together, I had a hunch as to what the reasons were. You were open with the face that you were married prior and had kids. You did explain everything to me. I know you and I weren’t going to be together forever. I knew you really just wanted and needed a shoulder to cry on.”

“Thank you.” I smile. “I always knew you were different, you’re such an old soul, Ell. Don’t ever let that go.”

“I got it, teach.” She says with a wink. “I’ll see you around. If you ever want someone to talk to, I’ll be around.”

“I’ll take you up on that.” I smile watching as she walks away.

* * *

I walk into the house quietly, making my way up to check on the boys. I go to Clark’s room, opening the door to see him sound asleep, curled up under his covers. I smile, moving on to Micah’s room to see him sprawled out on his back with his hands about his head. I close his door over making my way towards the bedroom to see Laura watching TV. “Hey.” She smiles sitting up straight. I walk towards her, placing my hands on her cheeks and pulling her in for a soft kiss. “How was the meeting?”

“Good.”

“Something’s bothering you.”

“I saw Ell on the subway.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing. She asked about you and the boys. I told her what was going on. She was happy to know we got remarried and that we were expecting again.”

“What was she like when you were with her?”

“A companion to come home to after a long day at work. I loved her, I did. But I wasn’t in love with her.”

“Y-you can still have her in your life if you want someone to talk to. I know the boys liked her a lot as well.” Laura says. “They would always come back her from being with you and talk about how nice Ell was to them.”

“And they would come to me and tell me how much they hated Danny.”

“I know.” Laura chuckles. “Danny was the same for me as Ell was for you. A companion.”

“I know; we’ve discussed this before.”

“I know.” I nod, kissing her forehead. “I want to change quick. I’m tired and want to go to bed.”

“Okay.” Once I was in something a lot more comfortable, I pulled back the covers and climbed into bed, Laura immediately curled into my side as I shut the light off. I kissed her forehead before turning my attention to the TV.

“What are you watching?”

“Dr. Who rerun.”

“You still watch this show?”

“Of course, it’s my favorite.” She chimes.

“It will always be your favorite.”

“Duh.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Laura whispers, leaning in to kiss me.

“Did Danny treat the boys right? I know they’ve said she wasn’t the nicest person in the world, but I want to know what you have to say about it.” I ask, taking her hand in mine and lacing out fingers together.

“She was very cold to them. She put up with them rather than actually caring about them. From what Clark has told me, Ell was the opposite of Danny.” Laura says. “Like polar opposite, which I appreciated very much.”

“Good to know.” I smile, leaning in to kiss her as I place my hand in her growing baby bump. “How’s this little nugget doing?”

“He’s doing his thing.”

“You think it’s a boy again?”

“I don’t know what I think. Sometimes I refer to it as ‘she’, sometimes ‘he’, and other times ‘they’. I just want this baby to be as healthy as the other two were when they were born. And hope they don’t develop the same fate as Clark.”

“I feel like that’s my fault.” I admit. 

“Why do you feel that way?”

“I carried him, it’s my genes. Something had to have clicked on from me that we didn’t know about…”

“I don’t want you blaming yourself for that. Something that happens like that is no one’s fault. It’s something that just happened and there is no one to blame. Don’t ever blame yourself.”

“That doesn’t mean I won’t feel that way though.”

“I know. I know how you are, and how you get. I know that you’ll feel like you’re responsible for whatever the reason may be. But just know that it is far from your fault.” Laura says, leaning over to kiss me.

“I believe you, Cupcake. I do. But you know I get the best of myself.”

“I know. I don’t think something like that would ever be your fault or mine. Just understand that please.”

“I do.” I nod, lying back a bit.

“I love you Carm. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Cupcake.” 

 

-Laura POV-

“Mommy, are you okay?” Micah asks, walking into the room to see me standing in front of the mirror.

“Yes sweetie.”

“Why are you looking at your feet in the mirror?”

“It’s the only way I can see them.” I say with a smile.

“Is it cause of the baby?”

“Yeah, this little thing is getting big and I can’t see my feet anymore.”

“Your belly is bigger, does that mean the baby is coming soon?”

“A few more months, they should be here by the summer.”

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

“Mama and I don’t know if we want to know that yet, or let it be a surprise.”

“Let what be a surprise?” Carmilla chimes, running a towel over her wet hair as she walks into the room.

“The gender of the baby.”

“I think we would find out at the next appointment.” Carmilla smiles. “If you want to that is.”

“I wouldn’t mind doing that.” I smile, kissing her cheek when she walks over to me.

“So once we know, we’ll let you and your brother know.” Carmilla chimes, scooping Micah into her arms and kissing her cheek.

“Mama, stop it.” Micah giggles as Carmilla holding him upside down.

“Carm, I don’t want him getting hurt.” I say as she walks him over to the bed, throwing him down on our fluffy comforter. 

“I won’t hurt him, Cupcake. Don’t worry.” She chimes as she starts tickling his sides.

“Mama, you’re silly.” Micah laughs when Carmilla stops her assault on him. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Shorty.” Carmilla says kissing his forehead.

“Are you going to love the baby more than me?”

“Never, I will love all three of you equally. No matter what I will never love your siblings more than you. You are all loved and treated the same way.” She smiles, running her fingers through his hair.

“Same goes for me. I will love you three all the same.” I say, sitting down on the bed beside them.

“Just making sure.” Micah chimes.

“Hey, why wasn’t I invited?” Clark chimes, walking into the room and climbing on the bed.

“I thought you were playing your game, Kiddo? You seemed really into it.” Carmilla chimes.

“I was, and then I got frustrated and shut it off. What are you talking about?”

“If Mommy and Mama are going to love the baby more than us.” Micah chimes.

“Are you?”

“We told your bother, and we’ll tell you, Mama and I are going to love the three of you the same way. One of you will not be treated as if you are favored or loved more than the other. Even though babies are a big responsibility and do need a lot of attention and time given to them, that doesn’t mean we love you less.”

“But also know that both of you are old enough to help Mommy and I if we need it. We may need you to hold the baby or help feed them.”

“Okay, Mama.” The boys say in unison.

“How about we build a fort in the living room and watch a movie and get pizza for dinner?” Carmilla suggests, causing the boys’ faces to light up as they race to climb off the bed. “Is that okay, Cupcake?”

“I’ll get the sheets.” I chime, leaning in to kiss her softly. “We should have some fun before I can’t move off of the couch, I already can’t see my feet.”

“Once you couldn’t see you feet with Micah, it was all down hill from there.” Carmilla teases. I couldn’t help but slap her arm playfully.

“You know, you’re very lucky I love you.”

“The luckiest gal around.” She says, kissing me.

“Mama! We need sheets!” Micah calls up the stairs.

“I’m being paged, Love. Let’s go.” She smiles, taking my hand and walking downstairs.


	10. Chapter 10

-Carmilla POV-

Laura and I were waiting patiently for the doctor to walk into the examination room we were in. Laura was holding my hand as she sat on the exam table. “Are you okay, Carm?” She asks, placing her hand on my bouncing leg.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” I smile, kissing the side of her head. “I’m excited.”

“I’m excited too.” Laura smiles when there was a knock on the door.

“Hello. How are you girls doing?” Dr. Cochrane smiles, walking over to shake our hands.

“Well, thank you.” Laura smiles. “We’re excited to know what’s going on.”

“As am I.” Dr. Cochrane smiles as she begins her exam. “Okay, here’s the baby.” She smiles, pointing to the screen. “Everything looks good, right on track. The real question is, do you want to know the sex?”

“Yes, we would.” I smile as Laura squeezes my hand.

“Okay.” She smiles, moving the want across Laura’s stomach. “You are having a little girl, congratulations.”

“A little girl? Really?” Laura asks with tears in her eyes.

“Yes, ma’am. Again, congratulations and I will be seeing you on the day she decided to come into the world.” 

* * *

“Hi Mommy, hi Mama!” Micah shouts as he runs out of his classroom towards us.

“Hey, Kiddo.” I say, picking him up and kissing the side of his head. “How was school?”

“Good! I painted a picture, want to see?”

“Sure.” I say, following Micah into the classroom, I look over to see Laura talking to Perry, Perry getting very animated and excited as they spoke.

“Look, Mama. It’s our family!” He says, showing me the picture he painted, and sure enough there was the four of us. 

“Who’s that Mommy’s got?”

“The baby.” Micah says excitedly.

“You’re excited aren’t you?”

“Super excited.”

“Well, we should go get your brother, we have a surprise.”

“Did you find out what the baby is?”

“Maybe.” I smile, taking his hand in mine as we walk over to Laura and Perry. “Cupcake, we have to go get Clark.” I say, placing my hand on the small of her back.

“Congratulations, Carmilla.” Perry says, giving me a hug. “I here Lola is a wonderful name for a little girl.” She whispers in my ear, teasingly.

“If we need help with a name, we’ll let you know.” I say with a smile. “We have to go get Clark, Cupcake.”

“Okay.” Laura smiles, kissing my cheek. 

* * *

“Why is there only one cupcake for both of us?” Clark asks as we sit the boys at the table after dinner.

“There are more cupcakes, this one is just special.” Laura smiles, seeing as she thought it would be cute for the boys to cut a cupcake to find out the baby is a girl. “Inside, the cake is a color. We know what the baby is, and this is how we are going to tell the two of you.” Laura chimes.

“So, if it’s blue, it’s a boy. Pink, it’s a girl.” I clarify.

“Okay, Mama.” The boys say in unison. 

“Clark gets to cut it because he’s the oldest.” Laura says, handing Clark a butter knife. “Right down the middle okay?”

“Okay, Mommy.” He smiles as Laura starts recording on her phone. “Now?”

“Yes, now.” I smile, watching as she cuts down the middle of the cupcake, one side then falls over revealing the pink cake.

“A sister?!” Micah shouts with a growing smile.

“Yep.”

“Wow, that’s neat.” Clark smiles, rushing over to give Laura a hug around her belly. “Hi there, Sister. I’m going to be the best big brother ever.”

“Me too!” Micah says, kissing the bump. “Can we help pick out her name?”

“You can help, sure. Why don’t you two go make a list of names you like and then we’ll go from there?”

“Okay, Mama.” The boys say, rushing towards the living room.

“They took that better than I thought they would.” Laura smiles, walking over and wrapping her arms around me.

“Yeah, I didn’t think they would be this excited.” I say, kissing her forehead. “I wonder what names they are going to come up with.”

“Mama? Can we name her Wonder Woman?” Clark calls out from the living room.

“Think about real names, please!” Laura calls out.

“Okay!”

“We’ll end up having our daughter being named, Wonder Woman Karnstein.” I say with a laugh, causing Laura to start laughing. “Although it has a ring to it.”

“Carmilla.”

“I’m kidding, Cupcake.”

“I know, but still.” Laura says, kissing my cheek before making her way towards the tray of cupcakes she made.

“At this rate naming her, Cupcake, won’t be a joke.”

“Maybe that can be her middle name.” Laura smirks as she takes a bite of the cupcake.

“I’m going to laugh if this kid ends up hating cupcakes.”

“Micah isn’t fond of them as it is, so I wouldn’t be surprised either.”

“Mama, what about Peppa?” Micah calls out.

“My kid isn’t being named after a cartoon pig!” 

* * *

“How do you feel about the name Bailey?” Laura asks from bed as she rests her tablet against her stomach while she was lying down.

“It reminds me of the Irish Crème shit. No thanks.” I say, climbing in bed beside her. “I thought we like to wait until we see the baby.”

“But we had a couple of names to choose from prior to the baby being born.”

“I know, but still.”

“Are you okay?” Laura asks, shutting off the iPad.

“Yes, why?” I ask, running my fingers through her hair.

“Just wondering. Making sure everything is okay with us.”

“Everything is more than okay. We’re doing amazing, Cupcake. There isn’t a single thing to complain about. Are you okay?”

“Yes. I don’t have anything to complain about either. Well aside from being ready to give birth any minute.”

“I don’t think any minute, but soon.”

“You have to finish the baby’s room before she comes.”

“I think we have some time, seeing as she’s going to be primarily in here for the first couple of months, her crib is in here, and her room is really ready, unless you want to paint it a different color?”

“No, I like the blue. It’s calming.”

“So there, everything will be okay. She’ll be okay, we just need to pick a name.”

 

-Laura POV-

“Carm?” I call out when I hear the front door close.

“What’s up, Cupcake?” I hear her ask as she walks into the kitchen.

“How was it getting the boys to school?”

“Good, as always. How do you feel?” She asks, giving me a quick kiss as she puts a brown bag on the counter.

“What’s that?” I smile. I look at Carmilla to see her smirking at me as she leans in to kiss me softly.

“A treat.”

“What kind of treat?”

“A carb one.”

“Is it a bagel? I haven’t had a bagel in a while, which is sacrilegious as a New Yorker.”

“Well a New York transplant.” Carmilla teases.

“Whatever.” I say, rolling my eyes as I take the bagel from her hand. I gasp holding my stomach for a moment before the pain passes.

“Are you good, Cupcake?”

“I – I think so. Oh, nope.”

“Contractions?”

“Yeah, I think so.” I nod, watching as Carmilla calmly walks out of the kitchen. I listen as she walks upstairs quickly, coming back into the kitchen with my shoes and a duffle bag. “You’re so calm and collected.” I smile as Carmilla kneels down in front of me and helps me put my shoes on.

“One of us has to be.” She smiles, standing up and kissing my cheek before helping me out to the sidewalk. She signals the first cab she sees, telling them where to go as she helps me into the car.

 

-Carmilla POV-

Several hours later, Laura was holding our baby girl in her arms, smiling down at the chubby little bundle. “She’s beautiful.” Laura keeps whispering as she stares at the baby.

“We still don’t have a name for her.”

“Kaya Violet Karnstein.” Laura says, the words rolling off her tongue like she was thinking about it prior to saying it. “I honestly just thought it up.” She smiles. “I liked the name Kaya but we haven’t talked about it, and Violet is an old family name of mine so… I mean, we don’t have to settles on it, but I think it’s nice.”

“I love it. Hello, Kaya.” I smile, looking over to see the baby smile slightly at the sound of her name. “It seems like she likes it.”

“See it’s settled.”

“Just like when we names Micah. That name just came to you too.”

“And Clark. We never really planned the name of our children.” Laura laughs.

“But they do end up having unique names.”

“That’s true.” Laura smiles, looking down at Kaya who starts to cry. “Have you heard back from Dad?”

“I haven’t, but Mom said she’d get the boys without a problem and would bring them up here to meet the baby.”

“Okay. Yeah, I figured she would so I didn’t ask Dad to do it.”

“Where’s my new grandbaby!” Sherman announces with a big smile on his face as he walked into the room holding a pink balloon that read ‘It’s a Girl!’ and a teddy bear.

“Well this is why we haven’t heard from you.” I tease as he walks over and gives me a hug.

“Congratulations, Carmilla.” He whispers in my ear, giving me a smile before turning to look at Laura, he places the bear and balloon on the table and rubs his hands together. “Can I hold the little Princess?”

“Of course.” Laura smiles, handing the baby to her day. “Say hello to, Kaya Violet Karnstein.”

“Hello there, Kaya Violet. You look like your mommy did when she was born.” Sherman coos, making different faces at Kaya, who was beginning to look slightly annoyed. “Although that is a Carmilla face if ever I’ve seen one.” He laughs.

“That’s what I call inherited through the atmosphere.” Laura teases. “Micah makes the same faces as Carmilla all that time and it amazes me. Especially when he was first born, he looked so annoyed with the world and was only a few hours old.”

“And remember how happy and cheerful Clark was when he was first born? It was the total opposite to me.” I chime, causing Laura to chuckle a bit.

“Your boys have the exact opposite personality as the person that carried. Clark looks like Carmilla but acts like Laura, Micah looks like Laura but acts like Carmilla. Hopefully Kaya here will have a healthy balance.” 

“Most likely not.” Laura teases, as Kaya begins to cry. “I’ll take her Dad, I thinks she’s hungry."

“Here you go, Sweetie. Are the boys taken care of?”

“Yes, Lilita is getting them from school and brining them up here.” Laura explains as she begins feeding, Kaya.

“Okay. Wonderful. As much as I would love to stay here all day, I have to get going. I will see you girls soon.” Sherman smiles, giving me a hug before going over to Laura, kissing the top of her head. “I love you, Laura. Congratulations and I’m very proud of you.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“I’m proud of you too, Carmilla. You’re stepping up to the plate again, don’t strike out.” He says, placing his hands on my shoulders.

“I don’t plan on it, Sir.”

“Daddy, stop with the baseball analogies and leave Carmilla alone. Everything is fine between us, I don’t want to tell you again.”

“She still hurt you and broke a vow.”

“We both did.” Laura snaps. “We both screwed up and I don’t want to hear it anymore, Carmilla isn’t the only one that made mistakes, I did too. And that’s that. We’re adults, we worked through it and now we have another child together… The topic of Carmilla hurting me is one I don’t want to discuss anymore.”

“I’m sorry, I won’t bring it up again.” Sherman says, hanging his head a bit.

“Thank you.” Laura sighs, looking down at Kaya as she finished up with feeding her. “Can you burp her?” 

“Of course.” I say, taking Kaya from her. “Come here littlest one.” I coo, bringing her to my shoulder to burp her. A few moments later Sherman left without another word.

“I can’t stand him when he does that.”

“You’re his only child, and we have been together long enough to know better when it comes to handling conflict. He just wants to make sure I knot now to hurt you again, and I do know.”

“Well he can really just shut up about it and not bother.”

“Cupcake, calm down.”

“I am calm, he just pissed me off that he can’t just let it go.”

“Again, you’re his only child and he will always worry about you.” I say, walking over to her with a smile.

“He can worry less. I’m in my thirties for God’s sake.” Laura huffs stubbornly. “I have three kids, I had a good job, but that is my own choice to leave it. I have you back in my life. I’m happy and content. The past it the past and all I want to look at now is the future.” She says when there was a small know on the door. I turn to see my mother peaking her head in with a smile on her face.

“Can we come in?”

“Of course.” I say, walking over to sit at the foot of Laura’s bed. The boys rush over to us with smiles on their faces as they hover over the baby.

“She’s so pretty.” Clark chimes. “What’s her name?”

“Yeah, Mama! What’s her name?” Micah chimes.

“Say hello to your little sister, Kaya Violet.” Laura chimes. 

“Hello Kaya.” Clark chimes, kissing her cheek. “I’m gonna be the best big brother. I’m Clark.”

“And I’m Micah, your other big brother.” He chimes, kissing Kaya’s forehead.

“And I’m Nana.” My mother chimes, making her way over. “Can I hold her?”

“Of course.” I say, handing Kaya off to Mother.

“Well aren’t you a beauty.” Mom chimes, cradling Kaya in her arms and swaying back and forth slightly. “You look like your mommy, but that little smirk of yours reminds me of your mama.”

“All of the kids have the smirk.” Laura chimes.

“It’s what makes us family.” I defend, causing Laura to roll her eyes at me.

“I know. That devious smirk will haunt our family forever.”

“In the best way possible.” Mother chimes.

“That is true.” Laura smiles as my mom hands Kaya back to her.

“When do you get to come home?” Micah asks.

“The day after tomorrow, Sweetie.”

“Mama, are you going to come home?” Clark asks.

“Of course, I’ll come home in a little while, and then come back when I bring you guys to school tomorrow.”

“Okay." 

* * *

“Hey Mama?” Clark asks as I walk past his room. I walk in to see him getting ready for bed, pulling his sleep shirt over his head.

“What’s up little one?”

“I just wanted to say that I love you.” He smiles, rushing over to give me a hug.

“I love you too, Bud.” I chime, kissing the top of his head. “Since Mommy isn’t home to sleep with me, do you want to sleep in the big bed?”

“Is Micah going to sleep in your bed too?”

“If he want to, I’m going to ask.”

“Okay.” He smiles.

“You can go get into bed, I’ll go get Micah.” 

“Okay Mama.” Clark says, rushing into my room after grabbing his stuffed animal. I smile as I walk into Micah’s room.

“I want to go to the big bed!” Micah says, jumping on his own bed with a smile. I walk over to his, scooping him up into my arms and walking into my room to see Clark already cozy under the covers on Laura’s side of the bed.

“Okay you two. I’m going to be in the kitchen working for a little bit, but you two better go to sleep.” I say, putting Micah into bed. “No arguing either.”

“We won’t. When you were living with Ell, Mommy always let us sleep in bed with her, especially when Danny wasn’t over. She didn’t like sleeping alone, but now she doesn’t have to cause you’re home.” Clark explains with a small yawn.

“Okay, Kiddo. Go to sleep. I love you both very much.” I say, kissing each of them on the top of their heads before walking out of the room. I go downstairs to where I had my laptop set up. I sit down, finishing up the grades that I needed to submit before midnight when my phone started ringing. “Trouble sleeping?” I smile, answering the phone.

_“You know I always have trouble sleeping without you, I always have.”_

“I know, Cupcake.”

_“How is everything home?”_

“The little gremlins are sleeping in our bed tonight.” 

_“To help you sleep?”_

“Of course.” I chuckle. “I miss you, Laura.”

_“I miss you too, Carm. I’ll be home soon.”_

“I know. Even though you’re there recovering from giving birth to our daughter, it still doesn’t feel right knowing I’m home and your there.”

_“I know, Carm. Everything will be okay. I’m doing great, Kaya is doing great. They came in and said I may be able to come home tomorrow night.”_

“Keep me posted, Love.”

_“I will, you know that.”_

“As much as I would love to talk to you, you sound tired, Sweetheart. Get some rest before you’re being woken up by a hungry baby.”

_“Okay. I love you, Carmilla. I’ll see you in the morning.”_

“I love you too, Laura. Goodnight, if you want to you can call me later on.”

 _“Okay.”_ Laura says, hanging up the phone.


	11. Chapter 11

-Carmilla POV-

I walk into the nursery to see Laura standing over Kaya as she was changing her into her pajamas after giving the baby a bath. I smile as I hear Laura talking a form of baby talk to the three-month-old, causing the little girl to smile at her. “You are the most beautiful baby in the world, you’re the princess of the house, Kaya. Before we know it, you’re going to have Mama wrapped so tight around your little finger.”

“I heard that.” I chime, walking up to her and wrapping my arms around her from behind.

“I said it because I knew you were standing there.” Laura smiles. “You can’t deny the fact that what I said is true though."

“I guess you’re right.” I say, leaning in to kiss her softly. “How is Princess Kaya anyway?”

“Ready to be read to, and put to bed.”

“Okay then, I’ll finish her up and you can go check on the boys?”

“Okay.” Laura smiles, kissing me quickly.                                                                            

“Hello littlest one.” I chime as I finish getting Kaya ready for bed. I kiss her on the forehead and walk over to the rocking chair, cradling her in my arms as I pull out a book to read to her. Once she was asleep, I moved her to her bed and made my way out of the room to find Laura. I go downstairs to see her sitting at the kitchen counter on the laptop. “Everything alright?”

“Who’s Devon?” She asks, pushing her glasses to the top of her head.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Are you playing dumb?”

“No. I’m not.”

“So you don’t recall messaging a woman by the name of Devon?”

“No.” I say, walking over to see what she was talking about. “Did you neglect to read the date, or that fact that that is my school messenger? Cupcake, did you really think I would cheat on you?”

“I don’t know, Carm.”

“No you do know. You still think I won’t be faithful to you.”

“I – I don’t know. I don’t know how to handle the fact that you may or may not do something like that again. I know it’s irrational to think that way, but at the same time I know that what happened in the past was partly my own fault, but still.”

“Laura, I don’t want you to think that every time a student emails me or something like that, it means I’m cheating on you or something.”

“But I feel like there is always going to be that doubt in my mind that something will happen again.” She says quietly, resting her face in her hands.

“I don’t want you to have doubts anymore. There is no reason for it.”

“But that doesn’t help how I am…”

“I feel like I should be this person in the relationship.” I say with a laugh. “I have the anxiety and yet you’re the one that’s at a level I could get to.”

“It’s never going to be okay.”

“What is never going to be okay?” I ask, sitting down beside her.

“The fact that I am never going to stop thinking about you leaving me again.” Laura says, tears welling in her eyes.

“We’ve been back together for well over a year now, I don’t think I will ever be leaving you again.”

“I never thought we would get divorced in general, and once it happened, I didn’t know what to do.”

“This is something that is still eating away at you, isn’t it?”

“Doesn’t it bother you?”

“No, only because I feel that we are secure enough in this chapter of our life than we were prior.” I say, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I love you. I love you so much. There is not a single reason for me to do anything horrible to hurt you and us. I’m very surprised that you are still in this mindset even after all of the positive things that have taken place between us in the recent months. 

“I know.” She whispers. “I’m sorry."

“I don’t want you to think you have to keep things from me. If something is bothering you, then I want you to tell me right away.”

“I know, but I don’t want to burden you with the thought that I’m still freaking out over you leaving me.”

“How you are feeling is never a burden and never was a burden and never will be a burden. When I married you I was accepting every single thing you had to offer, both good and bad. My own selfishness got in the way of us getting through the things that happened in the past.”

“How do you know you won’t get selfish again and leave?”

“Because I grew up. I grew up and realized how stupid I was to throw everything amazing in my life away. Cupcake, I love you more than I can ever begin to describe. I love our beautiful children, and our life we have together.”

“I’m sorry I’m such an emotional mess.” She says, resting her head on my stomach. I sigh, running my fingers through her hair.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know.” She says, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. “I haven’t felt like myself since Kaya was born. I’ve been trying to shake it off and fight it, but I don’t think I can anymore.”

“What you’re feeling is normal, my mom felt this way after Will was born. Do you want to talk to someone? We can go to the doctor.” I say, rubbing her back soothingly.

“I don’t want to put that on you.”

“We’re married, Cupcake. I’m here to worry about you, and help you through everything that’s going on.”

“I know, but still.” She says, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Talk to my mom, maybe she’ll help you out a little bit.” I say, holing her close and kissing the top of her head when Kaya began to cry in the distance. Laura groans before crying again. “I’ll get her.”

“She’s probably hungry.”

“Why don’t we try her on a bottle tonight? Rather than you feeding her.”

“No, I’ll go. Can you make me a cup of cocoa for when I’m done? I’m sorry about before too, I was just on overdrive from my emotions that I didn’t bother to check the details.”

“It’s okay, Cupcake.” I say, kissing her forehead. “I’ll make you cocoa and we’ll watch a movie if you want.”

“I’d like that.” Laura whispers, kissing my cheek before going to attend to our daughter.

 

-Laura POV-

After feeding Kaya and putting her back down in her crib, I make my way downstairs to the living room to see Carmilla sitting on the couch waiting to press play on, _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_ , seeing as that was my favorite Harry Potter movie in the series. “You know I’m going to fall asleep.” I chime, sitting down beside her and curling into her side. Carmilla smiles and she wraps her arm around me. She pulls me closer and kisses the side of my head.

“Doesn’t matter. I know it will relax you to watch it and maybe make you feel better.”

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” Carmilla smiles before pressing play.

* * *

“Mommy? Mama?” I feel myself getting shook slightly, I open my eyes to see Micah standing in front of my rubbing his eyes.

“What’s wrong, Sweetie?” I say with a yawn, sitting up to see the movie was only about half over. I look over to see Carmilla was also asleep.

“I had a bad dream and you weren’t in your bed.”

“What’s wrong?” Carmilla mumbles sleepily.

“I had a bad dream, Mama.” Micah says, climbing onto the couch and sitting in Carmilla’s lap.

“What was it about?”

“There was a big monster! It was black and purple and has ten arms and claws!” He says animatedly describing what took place in his dream.

“You know the monster isn’t real, right?” Carmilla asks, opening her eyes and looking at our son curiously.

“It felt real, Mama.”

“But it was only a dream, Love. No such thing as black and purple monsters with claws.”

“And _ten arms_.” Micah emphasizes.

“And ten arms.” Carmilla says, kissing him on the forehead. “Let’s get you back up to bed.” She chimes, holding Micah as she stands up.

“But, Mama!” Micah whines as Carmilla walks him back to his room. After a few minutes, Carmilla is coming back down the stairs. She walks into the room with a smile as she sits back down on the couch.

“Are you okay?” She asks, pulling the blanket over us again.

“I feel better now that I slept, even if it was for an hour or so.” I say, moving closer to her.

“Overall how do you feel?” She asks, running her fingers through my hair.

“Depressed. I want to got check on Kaya.”

“She’s fine. I checked on her before I came back down here.”

“Okay.”

“I know you want to go check on her. Go.” Carmilla says.

“No, I know she’s okay and I don’t need to see her to feel better.” Silence falls between us as we continue to watch the movie. A few moments later Kaya begins crying. “I’ll go get her.” I say, rushing up the stairs and into the room to see the baby crying. I pick her up out of her crib and cradle her close to her. “It’s okay.” I coo, kissing her forehead. I turn to see Carmilla leaning against the doorway with a smile on her face. “What?” I ask, walking towards her.

“I just love seeing you with, Kaya.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Of course. You are the best mother in the whole world. I love you so much, Cupcake, and I love seeing you with them.”

“Even if it makes me a neurotic and emotional mess?”

“That comes with the territory.” She shrugs, leaning in to kiss me.

“I love you.” I whisper, kissing her again.

“I love you too.”

 

-Carmilla POV-

“But Mom!” Clark whines from where he was sat at the counter.

“Clark, I told you a thousand times, you can’t run away to be in the circus.” I hear Laura say as I walk into the kitchen. “Good morning.” She says, walking over and handing me a cup of coffee.

“Why does my son want to run away and be in the circus? And how does he even know what a circus is?” I ask, taking a sip of coffee.

“We were up early this morning and they were showing _Dumbo_ on TV, Clark being the inquisitive boy that he is asked questions and then came to the conclusion of wanting to run away with the circus.” Laura explains and I look between her and Clark to see Clark with a wide smile on his face.

“I need more coffee before I process all of that.” I say, looking into my now empty mug.

“Please Mama, I want to go be a clown.”

“Sweetie, you know I’m here to support any and all choices you make in your life, but being a clown is not something I will agree with. You have too much potential, wait until it’s the last resort in your life.” I say, running my fingers through his hair.

“Okay, Mama.” He says with a bright smile. “I’m gonna brush my teeth.”

“I can’t believe he want to be in the circus, I would have expected that from Micah, not Clark.” I say once he was out of the room.

“Clark has been through a lot in his short little life, let him dream.”

“I guess you’re right.” I smile as Laura walks over and kisses me. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She says, walking out of the kitchen when she hears Kaya begin to cry from where she was sleeping in the living room. “Good morning, Sweet Pea.” Laura chimes, cradling Kaya in her arms. “Here, you want to go to Mama?”

“Hello Princess.”

“Mama, look! Clark is a clown!” Micah shouts from the entryway, causing Laura and I to look over and laugh at him.

“Sweetheart, whose lipstick did you use?” Laura asks, running her hands over her face.

“Yours Mommy!”

“Oh jeez.” She sighs.

“And here I thought I would regret never wanting to wear makeup.” I chime, causing Laura to roll her eyes at me.

“Sweetie, I know you want to be in the circus, but you have to get ready for school. Can you go get one of Mommy’s wipes and wipe that off?” I say, watching Laura try to compose herself. “They’re over where you found her lipstick, the blue pouch.”

“Okay, Mama.” Clark says, running towards the bathroom.

“If he ruined one of my twenty dollar lipsticks, I may scream.”

“Cupcake, I told you never to buy them in the first place, due to the fact that kids like to play with things. He would always play with Ell’s makeup whenever he would come over. It got to the point where Ell bought cheap makeup to trick Clark.”

“So he’s been playing with makeup for a while?”

“Well, lipstick. He always liked it.” I say, watching Laura’s face change.

“Is that something I missed from working all the time?”

“Kind of. Y-yeah.”

“Oh.” She says, looking down at the floor.

"But that doesn’t matter now. You’re an awesome mother, and you have a son that likes to wear lipstick.” I say lightheartedly.

“Yeah. The boys have to get to school, and I have to feed Kaya.” Laura says, taking Kaya from my arms and walking upstairs with her.

“Hey, don’t be upset.”

“I’m not.”

“You are, I know you are.”

“It still hurts, Carm.”

“I know.” I say, wrapping my arms around her.

“Mama, we gotta go.” Micah says, walking into the hallway.

“I know, Bud. Did Clark get all that lipstick off?”

“Yes, Mama.” Clark smiles, walking out of the bathroom.

“Good, let’s go. We’re gonna be late.”

“Bye Mommy, bye Kaya.” The boys say in unison, kissing Laura and Kaya quickly before going downstairs.

“Everything is fine, Cupcake. I love you and no matter how you feel, I don’t want you to dwell on anything.”

“I’ll try not to.” She says with a small smile.

“I love you more than anything.”

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, or concerns can also be asked on Tumblr, I will try to give you answers without giving anything away :)
> 
> juli-with-a-chance


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